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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Apart from cancelling any tips for an incident free teen party

23 replies

Remotew · 31/05/2010 20:10

I have agreed to DD having a house party for her 16th. I will be out but not far away and will call in to check it out now and again.

We are moving everything breakable, locking bedroom doors and putting chairs outside as it should be a nice night. She has invited 30, half boys, half girls. Food is crisps etc only. I will provide soft drinks and a little alcohol for herself, the others will bring their own. Was going to get a gazebo for the smokers in case in rains but DD has pointed out that non of them smoke .

Anyone any tips or just a word of comfort from anyone who has allowed a party and come off unscathed. Friends are telling me I'm mad.

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 31/05/2010 20:16

Do you have any suitable slightly older teenagers who can be trusted to be "bouncers".

My DS often does this for his friends' younger siblings when they have parties. Basically, they are not part of the friendship group but supervise alcohol, behaviour etc to a certain degree. Much cooler than having adults around and it seems to work.

Original poster

Remotew · 31/05/2010 20:24

Scurry, what a great idea. Never thought of that. I cannot think of anyone off hand as she is an only and all her friends are or the eldest. Will think about whom, thanks for the tip.

OP posts:

fuzzywuzzy · 31/05/2010 20:27

My boss allowed his daughter to do this for her 16th, they locked the doors to the rooms they definitely did not want anyone entering and the party went amazingly well, she even tidied up after!

cyb · 31/05/2010 20:28

yes, dont let ANYONE advertise it on Facebook

eatyourveg · 31/05/2010 20:34

If you have locks on the upstairs bedrooms, lock them and take the keys with you.

PixieOnaLeaf · 31/05/2010 20:34

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PixieOnaLeaf · 31/05/2010 20:34

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

Remotew · 31/05/2010 20:37

She did the invites over facebook but in a private way and all status updates are locked. There are a few people who know about it but havent been invited due to numbers being limted. I am worried about gate crashers. They can shut the gate when everyone has arrived.

Some of her friends have been allowed house parties and they have gone well in the main so fingers crossed.

I agreed as she has been a good kid so far and hasn't given me any of the trouble I remembered imagined a teen girl would. I am also hoping she will socialise more now she is getting older so it's an early coming out party .

OP posts:

scoobydoolady · 31/05/2010 20:39

Great tips, one more thing to remember though - gatecrashers. They will come even if its not on facebook, it does get spread by MSN etc

Original poster

Remotew · 31/05/2010 20:40

I've already said she will be paying for any damage. Next door is a holiday home and I was horrified to see the this weeks family turn up with a toddler. Will have to have a word with them.

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brimfull · 31/05/2010 20:49

dd has had 3 house parties and my top tips are

If possible don't let them upstairs , usually impossible as they need the extra loo.
Lock bedroom doors if possible.
They will bring booze ..lots of it.
Supply soft drink/water and food to offer something to soak up booze.
Definitely show your face a few times.
Get rid of rugs or cover carpet you care about
Have decent music so they dance lots ..more dancing=slightly less drinking.

Last one dd had was her 18th on NYE -we stayed and it was a great party but 18yrs olds are less embarrassed with adults there
Also we have wooden floors and everything is washable as it will get filthy.

PixieOnaLeaf · 31/05/2010 20:51

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Original poster

Remotew · 31/05/2010 20:59

G girl, I'm taking the rug up, the floors are hard so got that covered. Believe it or not but the one or two who are in a couple are permitted to stay together, so I've heard, so shouldn't need to do it at a party. Bedroom doors will be roped shut. Not sure how to do that but someone will sort that for me.

Seems like I've thought of most things just need to think of a 'bouncer' now.

OP posts:

mumblechum · 01/06/2010 08:44

Good luck, hope it goes well.

I don't think I'll ever have a house party tbh, I hear too many horror stories. Last w/e ds went to a party at a tiny house with waaay too many people to fit into it so inevitably it spilled out onto the garden/onto the cul de sac and the police were called because it was too noisy and some idiots were having a food fight.

30 is a good number, imo.

IloveJudgeJudy · 02/06/2010 15:52

I wouldn't go out. I would be upstairs out of sight, but definitely on the premises and coming out of hibernation now and then to check. It's not to show up your teenager, it's to reassure her and help her to ensure that nothing bad happens.

My parents always did that when I was at home (I have 3 other siblings) and we had great, trouble-free parties.

Original poster

Remotew · 04/06/2010 16:21

Just reporting back after the event.

The party was trouble free. I came back to check a few times. No drunkeness, fights, tears or shagging!! Neighbours rang the police and they came round twice. First time was at 9.30 as there were some uninvited boys hanging around outside. They turned the music down, let some of the gatecrashers in and shut the doors. It was a hot night so obviously people were milling around outside making noise.

Second time was 11 and I said give me ten minutes and I called a halt to it. Shame as they were only enjoying themselves and it was planned to finish before midnight. DD had a great time so I don't regret allowing it.

On hindsight I should have rang the police and told them about the party and what time it was finishing. Will remember next time. Hang on there won't be a next time.

The house was a bit of a mess but nothing that couldn't be cleaned up. I was very impressed as out of 40 kids drinking there was only one smoker and two cig ends to put in the bin.

OP posts:

brimfull · 04/06/2010 16:25

glad it went well
why did the neighbours call the police?

Original poster

Remotew · 04/06/2010 16:29

To complain about the noise! I told the holiday makers next door already and asked that they come round if there is a problem.

It's a built up area and I suppose sound travels when people are gathering outside. There was absolutely no hint of trouble.

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brimfull · 04/06/2010 16:30

miserable gits

ajandjjmum · 07/06/2010 10:25

My dc had an outside party when they were 14/15, and the police turned up just as the last track was being played at 11 pm. It really gave them some street cred . Shame about the miserable old git (local councillor) who called them!

They still seem to have a lot of parties compared to friends, but we always stay in, although mainly out of sight.

Original poster

Remotew · 07/06/2010 21:16

Don't feel so bad now. I won't be having another one in a hurry. Just noticed a photo on facebook with the police van in the background lit up like a christmas tree.

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 08/06/2010 10:19

Don't worry - you'll be the coolest Mum in their group!!!

desertmum · 08/06/2010 15:31

they'll be talking about the party for months !!! cool pcs on fb always increase street cred

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