after reading the happy memories thread how do you create happy memories when they are older

[Cobwebsontheceiling]

I love the ideas for all the little things to do, and have done many of those. My eldest ds, is nearly 12 and I'm conscious he thinks I treat him like a baby!

How do you work little things in your day so that they still know you love them? Am not expressing myself very well, but as an example notes in lunchboxes. My dd, who is 6, loves it but wouldn't dream of doing it for ds now as it would beyond embarass him!

I pondered this walking down to the shops just now. I think as they grow older (mine now 10 and 13), it isn't so much just about what I do for them, but what we do together, or even (on occasion) what they do for me. Watching a film together, going on a trip, discussing the election over the dinner table. Singing in the car together (ds hates it and tries to shout us down, but even that will become a happy memory in years to come). Dd this afternoon bringing home a cheesecake made at school and
watching my greedy face. Keeping up old family jokes from when they were little.

You have to hug them every day, whether they need it or not.

Ask their advice and take it and make sure it works and make sure they know it works.

Continue the fantasy version of the cat's private life or whatever (but not in front of their friends).

Keep the dreams going: 'Yes dd(13) no problem with you saving for a turquoise motorbike and ds can be a Chalet maid if he still wants to when he leaves school. And a busker in summer. Perfectly sensible career option. Wish I'd thought of it myself.'

Tell them they smell nice when they do. They eventually twig the connection between showering and being complimented without you having to tell them they stink

Cory's right, and I'd saying doing stuff with just one of them is good.

I like whisking one of them off for a 2 for 1 pizza after school/work - rare time away from Facebook!

Cooking with them, even if it's just a cake.

Still occasionally manage to make them go out for a bike ride but they usually have to be bribed with lunch.

I'm beginning to spot a bit of a theme here!

Two boys of 12 and 14 here.

I agree with cory about doing stuff together.
Little family rituals.
I try if at all possible for us all to sit down and eat together most evenings.
Saturday night is always something special, making pizzas together, or a take away. This week it will be a curry night. ( You may sense a theme here but for 12/14 year old boys food is very important .
A hug every day.
Holidays are good for getting them away from the facebook and x box and discovering new places as a family or again repeating rituals such as the boating lake at the seaside or the crepe from the street vendor after dinner. (Food again).
Also agree about talking about when they were little , but , once they reach puberty this starts to become embarrassing for them.

Agree about the breaks - I did Amsterdam with eldest - a bit of an Anne Frank fanatic - and it was probably the most fun I've ever had.

Thanks everyone, that's given me food for thought. Will arrange a theme park day out as he's mad on rollercoasters so will leave the little ones with dh and try and be brave!

i agree with the theme park idea.. i didn't go on rollercoasters until ds was about 12 and dragged me on - now we love them and do a couple of theme park days out a year

other favourites for ds (now 15) are 'go ape' (they are all over the country and are a fab day out) and x-scape (the indoor snow slopes for skiing and snowboarding)

things that make him smile without spending a lot are family nights in with dvd/pizza or going on a bike ride/long walk and taking the little camping stove with us so we can stop for a bacon butty at lunch (food theme aagain!)

I only have DD3 at home now and she's 18. But we go out for cofee,wtch Doctor Who together or just go shopping. DD2 is 20 and at uni. often and tell her that we love her and I phone her once a week. When she's home we might all watch a DVD together. DD1 is 23,has been maried for a year and lives in London. But we still keep in touch with her.

For those that are slightly older and moved away, my mum used to send me care parcels every so often, or sometimes a silly postcard she has spotted. The parcels woudl have some of her biscuits and a magazine and maybe a new top or hat or something, along with photos and random stuff she had shoved in (one time I got a mug with 'worlds greatest daughter on it)
nothing special but my friends were always very jealous and I loved knwoing she had been thinking about me.

I have found over the years our closest moments are walking down the street to get somewhere.
I went to pick DD up last night from guides, which is a 10 minute walk. DD was the most animated i have known her. She was singing the songs she was learning in her singing lessons, she was the same on a short walk home from the library when we had picked up some music books, just generally chatting and singing Daisy Daisy

Yes to all of the above - specially doing things one-to-one...even normal walking down the street and chatting type things.

I created a memory moment for my DS when we found ourselves walking alonga beach promenade. There were sounds from the funfair,the sea,children shouting,birds overhead - and best of all a barrel organ playing. The smells were of hot dogs/onions,candyfloss and seaweed.It was a beautifully 'soft' day ,warm gentle breeze and blue skies. I stopped DS , held my hands over his eyes and talked him through the sounds and smells.
20 years later he remembers it vividly -and obviouly so do I.