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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Not going to school (year 11)

29 replies

MrsDarko · 28/04/2010 09:12

My daughter is 16 and has always tried to get off school when she can. On average her attendance since she started school at the age of 5 has hovered between 70 and 80%. I admit I was soft on her and didn't put up much of a fight in the earlier years because I honestly thought she would grow out of it.

Anyway since she started secondary her attendance has become much worse. She has full weeks off here and there and when I do make her go, she goes to to medical room and pleads illness until they send her home.

We have had a few letters about her attendance but more so since she started year 11 because obviously its GCSE and coursework etc.

Anyway since christmas she has constantly stopped off school. She'll go for the monday for instance and then have the rest of the week off or she'll go a couple of days and then plead illness. There is nothing wrong with her. She just can't be arsed to go. She's already way behind target for maths and english and is supposed to be attending catch up sessions but obviously when she misses school, she misses these too.

She has applied for college to do graphic design but everyone is telling me she won't get on the course with her poor attendance and her exam results will be crap because she's missing all the coursework. Even if she does get on it, will she be able to cope having to go every single day? someone said to me this morning that they think she will go for the first few weeks and then fall into old habits of stopping off every 5 minutes and then get chucked off the course.

Will it affect her college applications and exams etc? Has anyone any experience of 16 year olds refusing school?

(its not like she hanging around with mates instead, she has no friends and just stays in her room all day.

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 29/04/2010 14:10

I am surprised that there haven't been EWO visits and meetings during this decline in attendance and I bet that her primary warned her secondary what was going on.

My ds is now bigger than me, but that doesn't stop me hauling him out of bed and frog marching him on to the bus if I have to. You are the parent here, so deal with her.

lazymumofteenagesons · 29/04/2010 20:45

Do any of you who are saying 'you are the parent just get her to school' know what it is like dealing with a depressed, anxious teenager who doesn't want to face the world and go to school. However it happened that is what mrs darkos DD seems to have become. It is too late for school and qualifications at the moment. Mrs D needs to concentrate on getting her daughter better and being connected with her peers. Once this is done (and I have not got the answer) then going back into education and getting some qualifications can be approached.

majafa · 30/04/2010 18:12

Sorry agree mith GetOrfMoiLand,
Your the adult, sort her out.
What are you doing during the day when shes 'In her room talking to her teddy'??
I take it you work and leave her to her own devices?
I dont have a great deal of experiance of aspergers, autism or the like but I do know the 3 asd, asperers, & 1 with middle to severe autism + a downs child, I worked with in primary school, their parents brought/made thier children come to a mainstream school!!
you need to take her to school, and if nessacary and dont go pick her up if she 'feels' ill, your the adult, sort it.

scaryteacher · 02/05/2010 18:00

Having had depression as an adult, I know what it is like yes.

If this has been a long term ongoing problem why has there been no medical intervention?

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