Fighting with younger brother- beyond ignoring

[raisinbran]

Help, Ds 12 has finally gone to his room in a fit of rage and temper ( for the second time tonight) he just keeps pushing/shoving/wrestling ds 6 around, quite forcefully sometimes,plus uses intimidation tactics too.

Ds 6 has now created a defence mechanism where he bursts into floods of tears,probably not always when he is hurt. This obviously attracts my attention and ususally older son gets punished. DS 12 arguement is that I never punish Ds6 but I very rarely have any need to and witness frequently the anger coming from ds 12.

Any advice welcome

Time to get a new way to use up physical energy for both of them (co-operatively) together?

Something like a swingball or one of those things boxers thump and it bounces back??

My answer to boy stress is always to take them swimming more often...especially those places with slides and waves. Wear them out and they fight less.

I am having this with dd (13) and ds (11).
She hit him really hard this morning before school- and ran off before I could speak to her.

Are you sure your little DS is not winding him up.

I have 2 boys 14 and 12.
Up to a couple of years ago they always played together and were the best of friends although DS1 would always be too rough with his little brother.
When DS1 reached puberty at 11 they started to drift apart and the bickering intensified.

DS1 always puts down DS2 whose self esteem is low already.
A friend suggested that I talk to DS1 about how the behaviour upset and affected me as well as his brother and what a negative effect it was having.
He's a bright boy but not good at empathy, but to my surprise he took it onboard and things have improved dramatically.

Your DS is a little younger but the tactic may still be worth a try.