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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

would you leave your teen alone in hols with girlfriend...

16 replies

SusanSocks · 14/04/2010 22:59

or boyfriend, whatever the case may be.

as i am working and my dm is looking after my dc, ds, who is 15, decided he didnt want to go out with her, and immediately set about inviting his gf to come over.

eventually i told him i didnt want him having anyone round alone in the house;

what would you have done?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/04/2010 23:02

I wouldn't allow it

We are currently having arguments with my dd, 14, who doesn't want to go, along with her 10yo sibling, to GP's in the Easter hols

She has to go...but maintains many of her friends are left home alone while parents work

It is hard...but I would not allow it in your scenario (thankfully, my dd just wants to hang out with her girl friends...I hope )

BeenBeta · 14/04/2010 23:02

I would do what you did. It is your house and DS has to respect that.

kormachameleon · 14/04/2010 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 14/04/2010 23:02

no wouldn't allow it

Pronoia · 14/04/2010 23:04

Do you mean during the day or over night? If during the day, it's very helicoptery.

Most teenagers are NOT babysat, it must be said. I'd have simply walked out on a babysitter at aged 14 - in fact, I was more likely to have BEEN the baby sitter.

Original poster
SusanSocks · 14/04/2010 23:08

thanks for that, knew mn would come to my aid.
had to manage without all your opinions and make my own

he was fine aobut it, btw
and i dont think i would like 2 15 year old boys left alone in the house, let alone of the opposite sex

OP posts:
mumblechum · 15/04/2010 14:23

I'm very relaxed about ds having his (male) friends around in the holidays when I'm not here. They just hang out, either indoors on the ps3 or go out on their bikes to town.

Worst thing they ever do is make a mess and eat all the food

Greenshadow · 15/04/2010 14:28

Must admit, thought at first you meant while you went away on holiday.
As it is just while you are at work, then, I would say that by 15, you should be able to leave them at home alone. If your DS and GF want to 'get intimate', then I'm sure they will find other ways and means, even if you ban them from the house now.

Original poster
SusanSocks · 15/04/2010 18:29

oh dear, differing points of view.
thougth it was too good to be true.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 15/04/2010 18:35

I'd have done the same as you. Do you have a good relationship with him so you can explain why? I think I'd have a chat, say I was happy for him to be out and about if you know where and who with, but that you'd prefer him not to invite his girlfriend round to your home while you aren't there or Grandma isn't.

usualsuspect · 15/04/2010 18:37

I would allow it yes

Original poster
SusanSocks · 15/04/2010 18:53

she came round anyway

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 15/04/2010 18:58

I leave 14 year old dd on her own when I am at work some days. I arrange places for her to go most days, however on occasion she has to stay at home on her own, and we are both fine with that. She is more than capable of looking after herself, and I think teens do appreciate 'lazy' days, where they haven't got things planned/people to see.

None of her friends are allowed to come round if she is in the house on her own, however. Not for any shenanigans reasons, just making cheese on toast, getting carried away on singstar and burning the kitchen down type of reasons.

I don't think you are unreasonable to put your foot down on this point.

AnyFucker · 15/04/2010 20:12

Getorf, I am sorta glad to see you leave your 14 yo while you are at work

Tis Easter hols have been a nightmare for us

My 14 yo dd no longer wants to go to grandparents with her younger sibling

For the first time ever, her Dad I went to work today and left her to her own devices

Some of her friends parents ahve been doing that for the last couple of years, but we have resisted so far

As it happens, she was out all day watching some local television filming going on with her mates and getting very overexcited at seeing some real-life celebs

There were strict instructions no-one but her and one mate were allowed in the house and she knows the consequences if she reneges...no more freedom !

Hell will freeze over before I allow a bunch of teens I barely know in my house when I am not there...and boyfriends...no fucking way !

If I am not having fun in my own house...then neither are they

Original poster
SusanSocks · 15/04/2010 21:06

af,
good point

OP posts:
DandyDan · 30/04/2010 18:38

I would allow it. If your ds and a girlfriend want to 'get together', they will find ways to do it without your knowledge. Aged 15 is pretty old to be babysat and not trusted with the house or one's friends.

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