When can I leave my teens alone in school holidays?

[tooposh2push]

I'm really interested in others' experiences here. (Not the legal stuff - I know that the law is very unspecific on this topic.) I work full time and have (just) 14 year old twin girls. They're basically well behaved, mature teenagers,...but they are still technically children. At the moment they're latch-key kids after school, which I feel fine about as it's only a couple of hours, we know plenty of neighbours and I work only half an hour away. During the holidays a university student comes to hang out with them / keep an eye / do some cooking and tidying etc. However although they like this girl increasingly they're saying they don't want anyone with them and would be perfectly happy on their own. I don't mind leaving them for the odd day but feel that days on end is too much. What do others do? at what age do you say - that's it, no more childcare?

Mine were 12 and 14 but I am home by 3 so they were only awake and alone for 2 or 3 hours . They are now 16 and 18 and I leave DS3 aged 8 with them for some days but not more than 2 or 3 in a row or he watches too much TV.

Well my 14yo (albeit nearly 15) has a lucrative sideline in babysitting other people's children, so it would be a bit daft for me to get someone in to babysit her.

If they're sensible and reliable (can be trusted not to leave the gas on or go out leaving the door unlocked, and you know they won't push off into town to meet some random person they've met on Facebook) and assuming they don't have ready access to unsuitable internet sites (ie you have a website blocker and you check the history) then of course you can leave them. I'd leave a sensible 11yo for a large part of the day (not every day all hols tho).

How happy would they be on their own?

My DD is too young at 8 of course so I should probably stfu but if I'm in the same job then my plan is 12. I'm only 5 minutes away and just work school hours so would be home by 2.30.
Only if she's happy with this though, otherwise it will be CM.

Ooh yes batteryhuman mine are inclined to sleep till lunchtime too . All your advice so welcome, thanks mumsnetters. I think they would be happy and they are pretty sensible and reliable...I've certainly left them for a day or two but it's the thought of whole weeks that bothers me - partly worried about the devil making work for idle hands I guess. I had a real old fashioned stay at home mum myself so I've got no role model for being a working mum of teens.

I've thought about this a lot too.
I work 3 days a week, 12 mins door to door and have left DS 11 and DD 13 home alone when they have been too ill for school but not so ill they've needed nursing iyswim eg day 2 following D & V and the school doesn't / won't let them back

Currently my DD 18 is around and gets back before me esp if they are at home, but I still feel very guilty about it.
During the hols she is also here but is off doing her stuff come September.

DS will sit on his arse amuse himself all day unless I give strict instructions such as walk the dog, cook something with your sister etc.
Last summer we sort of invented a play scheme with make a pizza day, plan a picnic or take a bike ride or go swimming/cinema together and I actually paid them.This may seem stupid but neither wanted to do any sort of organised group stuff. It does help that I feel happy for them to use public transport and there are local facilities.
They are also on a strictly no fighting/arguing rule as this equals no money! obviously neither grasses the other up so I'm happy

I am very lucky that DD1 (21and living an hour or so away)and DD2 will look after DD3 and DS without complaining, but will have to review the situation when dd2 leaves home.

not sure if childcare gets easier!

Sorry tooposh
realised i haven't really addressed your own
probs, rather just wittered on about your own
I do like the suggestion of finding an older teenager/student to be a sort of big sister.Maybe a few days a week under the guise of helping out in the house
I do know mine would freak at the thought of a baby sitter but may accept a friends older sister.
mine also resist offers of going to stay with my Mum or my sister.
in an ideal world they would have very wealthy friends and be swanning off to Tuscany for the summer, but then again,I'd hate that

my kids were on their own at that age - i have twins too - no great shakes imo

just t o scare op, when my autn felt her kids were old enough, and mature enough to leave them at home during holidays whilst she was at work, she came home to find they had been doing stuff, that involved petrol and fire.
she didnt leave them alone again for many many years. 18 i think.

I started leaving ds alone from 12 but only worked 9-3, 3 days a week. I wasn't worried about safety, more boredom.

I haven't paid for/arranged any childcare since he was 12, and like someone further up the thread, he's been babysitting since he was 15.

Mine have been left alone 8am - 5pm since they were 11. I'm ten minutes away by car in emergencies (we've not had any so far). We live in a large village with plenty of friends close by so I know I can always phone someone and ask them to call in if necessary.

As mumblechum says, boredom is a bigger issue than safety.

Now that they are 14 and 16, an even bigger issue is coming home from work and finding every cereal bowl and mug in the house has migrated to their bedrooms and they still aren't dressed.

I do try to take odd days off to do stuff with them but they're generally only interested if I wave a credit card!

I think I found the transition to working full time harder than they did. I still feel I've missed out on time with them.

Thanks so much mumsnetters for all the wit and wisdom. You're so right RunningOut, it is me that's missing out, not them. And it is boredom / staying in bed all day on a diet of cereal that's at least as much of a threat as 'stranger danger' etc.

Fortified by your views I'm going to keep the student on p/t over the summer, then it's sayonara to childcare, Hooray.

I too leave my 13 year old at home but she is very sensible. She has been allowed to come home from school and stay on her own in holidays since she started Yr7

I try not to leave my 11 year old with her as this is not a great mix she still goes to her aunt or GP.

Next year when she starts Yr7 she will want the same.

Fortunately although I work full time I am only 10 minutes away and we talk throughout the day.

Would it be more fun for them if you spent the money you'd give to the uni student on a few clubs for them - drama or singing or tennis lessons - to add a bit of structure and get them doing something other than mooching while you're at work?

We were left alone a lot and used to babysit from age 12, so would have resented being sat at age 14, but we spent the summers in a youth drama group where we made really good friends.

12 here

tbh- they grew out of what was on offer- holiday camps and the like- not sporty.

they are fine- get up late- go out with mates, go on computer. spare key in garage in case they lock themselves out- both have a mobile. I am half an hour away by car.

only downsides is the amount of food that they and their friends eat.

i did find though that left to their own devices they actually do a lot more than if i am at home with them

I left my sone and daughter at 16 and 14 whilst at work, they had to ring and tell me if they were going out. I would ring a couple of times during the day and at least an hour before I got home so they could tidy up...They didnt get up till 2pm anyway.

I would leave my 2 older kids (14 and 12). Wouldn't leave them the whole day in charge of the 8 year old but on their own, they would be absolutely fine. They get up late in the holidays, can cook basic food safely, would spend the day watching tv, listening to music, playing computer. I would make sure a reliable neighbour has a key though as mine might well lock themselves out!!

Mine are 16 and 13, and I have no probs leaving them. I am lucky, work 5 mins away, and can work P/T and flexibly in hols, so I tend to go into work early and finish mid afternoon.

I think it depends upon how sensible your kids are, and how they get on together. I also have a good network of friends that I can call on to be on standby if I need to travel with work, and therefore aren't within emergency distance. Apart from my son's disastrous attempt to make gnocchi from scratch when he was 12, no problems!