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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Help 13 year old upset on trip

16 replies

keepitsweet · 07/04/2010 20:02

My dd is on a week long school trip, and has just messaged me, that she's not enjoying it as 2 of the girls (4 in a room) in her room are making comments behind her back, that she is fully aware of. She hasn't said what the comments are. She said she wasn't sure why she was telling me, but didn't want me to do anything about it.

I said, go and find others to hang out with, and take part in all activities going on and don't take it to heart.

Any one got any advice, of how to deal with this?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/04/2010 20:06

I would have done the same thing

You are not thinking anything silly like going to pick her up, are you ?

thisisyesterday · 07/04/2010 20:08

i think you've dealt with it!

if she messages again and it's getting worse then tell her to let a teacher know

Original poster
keepitsweet · 07/04/2010 20:09

No to start with she's on a different continent.

But do feel a bit helpless, this is where modern technology is a bad thing.

OP posts:
Igglybuff · 07/04/2010 20:11

Sympathise with your DD as well as telling her to hang out with others on the trip. I guess she just wants a bit of reassurance and a virtual hug maybe?

Maybe get her to give you a ring or offer to speak to her if she feels like it, although she may not.

MaureenMLove · 07/04/2010 20:13

See, this is where I hate technology too. And teenagers as well. She now has you worrying for her and I could bet by tomorrow or the next day, she'll be perfectly fine, but forget to let you know that!

I'd text her, to tell her to speak to the teachers. Regardless that she is a teenager and possibly blowing things out of proportion, she doens't deserve to be having a rubbish time on a school trip.

pointydog · 07/04/2010 20:18

I think you've given good advice. Start off sympathetic but strong, tell her she's fab and hopefully she will enjoy the trip

BitOfFun · 07/04/2010 20:22

When my 13 year old went away at halfterm, mainly with older kids, the teachers tried to put her in with the nicest girls in Year Ten, and promised her that if they didn't get on that they'd move her (it was all fine). Maybe suggest to her that she speaks to a teacher if it gets unbearable?

Oh, I don't know- she's probably better to brass it out. Girls that age can be horrid to each other, I guess she just needs to get on with it. I think you've told her the right thing.

Original poster
keepitsweet · 07/04/2010 20:38

Have reminded her she's loved lots at home, and hope she has a fantastic time.

All's gone quiet. Hopefully she's gone off to ride it out.

OP posts:
bruffin · 07/04/2010 23:16

Your DD probably just needed to sound off about it Keepitsweet.

My 12 yr old is away with a girls club this week and she has text me a few times.
The most of worrying of which is that she has "slight ink poisoning" from drawing on her arm and her arm hurt.

I have told her to tell an adult, which she assures me she has, she has also fallen and bruised her arm badly and been chased by a dog.

Other than that she is having a wonderful time.

maryz · 07/04/2010 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tatt · 07/04/2010 23:43

text her back that girls can be bitchy, she should try to ignore it, it's only a week - but to see a teacher if it gets unbearable. She just needs to know you care.

FleurDelacour · 08/04/2010 04:21

Another school here that bans mobile phones on trips. As long as the students know to tell the teachers if there are problems, then the teachers will do their best to sort it.

Otherwise students only phone when they are having a wobble and it upsets parents. As others have pointed out there will be no text when the problem has gone away or assumed a lower importance.

Trips are stressful as you have to live on top of others for a week or so and have no privacy. However making the best of things, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, embracing the activities and making new friendships are what it is all about IMHO.

Original poster
keepitsweet · 10/04/2010 21:34

Update - dd came back, best trip ever, all best of friends!!!

OP posts:
bruffin · 10/04/2010 23:03

LOL Keepitsweet

my dd came back yesterday and she had a fantastic time as well! Arm all in one piece!

Original poster
keepitsweet · 11/04/2010 09:09

Bruffin - why do I get the feeling our stress levels are going to increase (not decrease) as they get older?

OP posts:
mummytime · 16/04/2010 07:51

Just to add. In my book group (one Mum with older children) has been texted during both her daughter's gap years with messages on the lines of "Its awful I know no one, the hostel is a dive. I just know I'll be murdered. I want lilies for my funeral."
Then she hasn't heard for 3 or 4 days because the girl is now having a great time.

(I'm not looking forward to this myself.)

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