x box addiction & cod

[julesg1978]

I have a 13 year old son who is addicted to his xbox and cod.

He constantly wants to be on it and shouts all the time with his mike on. I am now trying to wean him of it easier said than done. He is furious saying its his only enjoyment and goes on for hours on end asking to get it back.

He has no interest in school and is cheeky to his teachers.

I am at my wits end and my relationship is suffering through all the constant hassle in the house.

Can anyone give me some tips on how to help my son and has anyone been through this with there kids or even themselves.

Thanks

There is a positive to the x box. We live in a rural area as do many of DS's freinds. They can't just pop round to friends houses without planning and the parental taxi. They can however play together online on the x box. DS often plays with half a dozen friends from school and they chat about the game, about homework and school.

I am pragmatic about cod. Yes some of them are 15/18 rated and yes it's violent.But my son is a quiet sensitive lad who I do not believe is adversely affected by the game.
It's not the game itself that causes problems it's the time they would spend on it without the restrictions we impose. I do know that friends of his who are less well supervised play excessively long hours. Some have parents who work long hours so the kids are home alone or they have the thing in their bedroom and go on at night.

Fortunately I am always here and ours is in the family living room.

My DH has CoD and Xbox Live.

CoD is an 18 cert for a reason, and XBox live has a minimum age of 16 because you can't filter the language used.

DH is on an 'underground' setting or something where you expect it to be foul language and don't have to watch what you say. I've heard plenty of kids on there cussing like a soldier and saying some things that even I would not say and I'll guarentee they aren't 16 or that their parents know what they are saying.

I wouldn't let my kids on it regardless of whether their friends had it or not.

Hello, I hope you don't mind me joining your chat but I am a Producer at the BBC and I am making a documentary about gaming addiction and would be keen to speak to anybody who thinks there son or daughter maybe addicted.

Thanks

[email protected]

you should post this on 'media requests' - there is a fee

Agree with Roisin.
I have an 11 year old ds who loves wi/ps2-we don't have x box and won't be in the foreseeable future..
He is not allowed to go on either on a school night- but can on Fri/Sat/Sun and then is limited to 2 hrs a day.
No wonder some boys are growing up with no respect for anyone if parents give in and make no riules and boundaries- some of you sound so mealy mouthed and basically a pushover.
Sorry to sound harsh- but some of you have said yourselves your dcs are cheeky/agitated- do you ever stop to think what damage you are doing to your dcs by allowing them to play garbage like this - it's normalising violence.
I know it's easier to give in and have a quiet life- I have a 13 yr old girl! But you are the adult here.

I am sorry to have to disagree with deaddei and roisin as roisin's posts in particular I normally agree with. If you haven't got a 13/14/15 year old son, even if you do work with them, you can't judge in this case. Girls are different in this regard. My son is 15 and has cod. He plays in fits and starts. It's very good for letting him keep in touch with his friends and be part of the group. He was bullied in Y4 and I won't let that happen again. He doesn't play cod all the time. I have not noticed any difference in him. Today, for example, he got in from school before me, played a bit of cod, had dinner and is now out playing footie or whatever with his friends.

I must admit I was against cod at first, but he doesn't play it all the time at all, sometimes doesn't want to play it for weeks at a time so it doesn't cause us any problems.

I am with Roisin - we have stopped gaming in our house with few implications

my sons say it is 'all their friends do' but they can't do it here
I dont like those games and personally don't think they are good for boys - one of my dcs used to get 'wired' and 'agitated' when on them and preoccupied with being on them then he wasn't ...

we did have 'grand theft' for a short while for ds1 but i became aware that ds2 would try to watch ot when ds1 was on it...

anyway we are now console free and despite much inward moaning by ds2 - we are happy... the younger ones never remember them so it's easy for them

Hi
I have been searching for help for my 15 year old son who has a serious xbox addiction...mainly ,the game COD
He is in set 1 for all subjects,but his behaviour has gone downhill rapidly in the last 6 months and his schoolwork is suffering drastically.
we tried taking the xbox off him for a week...initially,he calmed down,but the minute we game him the xbox back,it was like he had to make up for lost time and get back to the level he was before (he was on live and competing)
I have lost count how many nights we have caught him on it at 4am on a school night,spending the whole weekend on it.
We started making him bring the whole console down at 10pm(as taking the controller resulted in him borrowing friends and hiding it,waiting until we were asleep and then going on it)
luckily,i am a light sleeper and can hear him in the middle of the night....but he also wakes his sisters up,with his shouting
i hear him swearing and shouting his head off constantly.he talks to me and his dad like crap and is horrible and aggressive to his younger sisters....i have had loads of letters home lately from school about his attitude.
we received his school report yesterday...or rather i 'found' it in his schoolbag....i was so shocked...all E's and F's for behaviour,effort and coursework.He is a very bright lad and is spoiling himself.I would have been happy with C's,although I know he can acheive A's & B's
enough is enough,we have tried talking to him and limiting his time on it,it does not work.The evil xbox is going,i have unplugged it and taken it to my mums....i would rather sell it and give him the money to spend on his bmx
we bought him a new bmx at xmas and he hasnt even been on it,the addiction to the xbox is so great.
it has caused many arguments between me and his dad and we have nearly split up,because of our sons behaviour.His Dad is strict,but I tend to give in too easily,but no more.....it cant go on.
He never wants to spend any time with us and on Xmas Day,he came down for his dinner only,then ran back upstairs to the xbox.
I rang the school today and they agreed to keep him for an hour after school to catch up with coursework etc and I have agreed to keep the xbox away.
anyone else got any tips?

its your house so you shouldnt put up with them sitting around all day playing games whilst you struggle with housework and stuff like that.

banning them from it is easier said than done but at the end of the day let them have thier tantrums they will soon realise how daft they are being and realise that they will have to work harder for priveliges. it is an 18 rated game but to be honest you see and hear worse stuff on the news every night and as long as they can tell the difference between reality and fantasy then its safe.

Not always so easy to ban it: I had told 14 yo ds it would come into this house over my cold lifeless body. He had a cash card bank account and the bank sent him a card that can be used as a debit card - so the cheeky little sod bought it on line with his savings It was only when dd went into his room to get a better signal on her mobile and saw it there that we realised!

I have found some of the suggestions on this thread wonderfully useful - esp Slambang and Frankenfanny. I've taken notes!

If they are playing live which I assume means online? Remove the modem when you want them to stop! I do this with my 16 year old every day, although he doesn't play COD just some other crap games.

Dear julesg1978,
Who is the parent here!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can i suggest you cut the plug off his xbox and scratch the disc.
He won't like it but i think you need to stand up for yourself and get on with it.
If you don't start laying down some rules now it is only going to get worse!
I'm sorry i'm very sure its not what you wanted to hear but COD is an 18 cert. for a reason.

Be strong and Good luck

Thank god I'm not the only parent suffering at the hands of this terrible virus/disease. There is nothing positive about this game at all. My 13 year old son would like to play constantly and I have tried all sorts of tactics/strategies. I allowed him to self regulate (dream on) different days/times, allotted time/days..you name it I've tried it. However I can understand the dilemma of your child being excluded by his peers, and yes, they should be learning how to be individuals and not give in to peer pressure, but that is such a huge task at such a delicate age. I honestly don't know what the answer is. I'm a lone parent too, so no back up from the Dad either. At present COD is confiscated and the wireless adapter on the lounge floor where is was left by the very angry CODfather...a frosty weekend in store...

update

we sold the dreaded COD game,banned his xbox for a few months (even though he still had live subscription left) but when we returned the console.....he bought the new Fifa game & became addicted to that instead.....grades back down again,so xbox has been removed and locked in our brick built shed for the last month.(his Dad has the only key,so I wont be tempted to give in) He's not happy at all,but Im afraid its the only way.He is in his last year come September and is currently at grade C/D Im not risking his work slipping again.He needs the grades for college and if he doesnt get them I will take that damn xbox to the tip!!

Last year and the early part of this year was a nightmare for me and the XBOX. My 13 yo DS was on it constantly and it drove me mad....until the XBOX got nicked! DS had left the bathroom window open (being last to leave the house) AGAIN so told him the XBOX had been pinched has not even mentioned it...however, he was always encouraged to go out when the weather was good so I think Summertime is a good time for confiscation

Hi my ds has an Xbox and used to spend most of his spare time on COD. I just wanted to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel. He gradually grew out of it and now has a 'normal' social life again. Be patient, it's more than likely a phase he is going through and he'll soon realize there is more to life and move onto another hobby.

I am also a minority parent in that I won't allow my ds (14) to play 18 games, he started bugging me about it when he turned 13 and he moaned and carried on about it for a whole bloody year, it was a nightmare, precisely because everyone one else has it, some had brothers in primary school still, that we're allowed it, he did get some stick for not being allowed it, and at the time I moaned to my friends as they hated their kids playing it but they wouldn't go through the moaning that would ensue from getting rid of it.

I'm the parent of a 15 year old who started a love affair with his xbox and handheld console gaming a few years back. We noticed him becoming more and more angry if we limited his time on the damn things. Which we did from the start, as I didnt want him gaming all hours of the day when he wasnt at school!

It eventually came to a head when he was asked to leave his work experience indefinately because he was playing on a handheld console instead of working!
So, from that moment on we took ALL his consoles away and he hasnt had them back since!
That was 5 months ago. We've had him argue that our response was unreasonable, but we didnt back down. His GCSE's are more important than gaming and we need him to understand that. We have told him when he can show us some good grades then we will consider allowing him some 'monitored' console time. Tbh, I was/still am even considering selling the damn things.

I can understand and sympathise with everyone who's teen seems to depend on their consoles. But the answer is to take it away dependant on a set of rules and bounderies put into place for him/her to get it back. But there also has to be strict rules for game playing time. If they dont adhere then sell the damn thing/s! I've yet to hear of a teen dying because their console was no longer a part of their life.
There has to be a strong policy..'Its my house, my rules and if he doesnt obey my rules and bounderies then he has to pay the price'

after giving my son his xbox back (after withdrawing it for over a month) he has only been on it over the weekend and has been excluded from school today for smoking and swearing at a teacher....I am at my wits end and as soon as he's asleep,Im going to smash that friggin console to pieces
enough is truly enough

evenmoremiserablethanbefore, my Sons head of year agreed with my decision on removing the xbox. I was surprised when she told me she'd had a similar problem with her Daughter!
Sorry to hear your Sons behaviour hasnt improved. I thought I'd tell you what the Head of year did with her Daughter.
She took her Daughter with the console and games to one of those exchange game/console shops. Then she made her Daughter hand over everything in exchange for cash! She then took the cash from the Daughter and explained to her that because she had refused to take in what she had been told. The sale of the console/games was her punishment. The Daughter was absolutely gutted and I think that day taught her a valuable life lesson. 'That for every action there is a consequence'
Maybe you might find some tough love useful in this circumstance. Good luck! :)