Hi, I usually post on the SN forum as have a son with Autism, but am really struggling to help my DD2, who has developed an eating disorder, and also very recently has self harmed (cutting)
She's nearly 16, doing extremely well at school (GCSEs this year) but puts terrible pressure herself and gets very stressed about school work and her drama club (loves it but has a production on the go.. more stress) etc. She also has a very confident also high achieving older sister (18) who she adores but sees herself as being somehow second best.
Needless to say we have done everything we can think of to help her see that she is wonderful in her own right.. for one thing, she truly is a lovely girl, sensitive, kind, just a decent teenager!
The problem started when she hit puberty.. she is relatively short ( 5 ft 2) but has a HUGE bust. Got lots of attention because of it and it has really really damaged her self image. She sees herself as fat (she is is a size 8 ) and really hates herself. Gradually over the last 18m she has become more withdrawn,(stays in and studies and is listless and sad) started bingeing and purging, and over the last few weeks some self harm.
We have a referral thro to the adolescent MH services but have no idea how long it will take and it has taken this long for her to agree that it might help to talk to someone professionally I know it's a positive step that she has agreed but it is just so hard not to be able to help her see her as everyone else does!
Unfortunately her sister is very tall and model thin naturally so DS2 compares herself when they are simply different. Older sister is very supportive and tries to help DD2 to feel good about herself..in fact everyone is great, but DD2 is still so unhappy
We have just started exercise classes together, myself and the girls, because I thought it might help lift her mood..endorphins etc, and by toning up might help her feel a little more positive about herself. DD2 IS pleased with this (and I should have the body of a goddess by the summer... it's KILLING me!!!)
She's a compulsive blogger which is good in one way..a safety valve for her but bad in others as I think it feeds her obsession as there are a lot of eating disordered girls who blog to eachother. I don't read it routinely as I know she needs some privacy but a few people do, and alert me when they are more worried than usual (including one of her teachers!)
Has anyone else any experience or advice to share? We love her so much and most the time feel that we are stumbling round in the dark trying to help, trying not to say the wrong things. She talks to me sometimes but mostly only when I approach her.
In between her difficulties and her autistic younger brother we also have a very wayward older brother who is giving us a heap of worries in other directions and sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to be sane again