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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

would you let your teen go to a rock festival?

40 replies

Slartybartfast · 20/03/2010 23:44

a 3 day one?
with a family you hadnt met?

make me feel bad you know you want to, that we are not letting ds 15 go

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/03/2010 23:55

I would if I had the opportunity to meet the family prior to it.

but thats because i love a good festival

MissAnneElk · 20/03/2010 23:55

DD1 asked if she could go to Reading last year when she was 15 and the answer was firmly no. But she wanted to go with a friend. If she had been going with another family the answer may well have been yes. She did go camping with another family last summer who, although I had met the Mum once before - very briefly - I didn't know them. I didn't really know her friend very well either although I'd met her briefly a few times. I just used my judgement on what DD had said about them. It depends on how sensible you think your DS is really.

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 20/03/2010 23:58

thanks.
am leanign towards letting him go but dh won't allow it.
i havent met the family at all and can imagine meeting them and then still sayign No, wouldnt look very good.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 21/03/2010 00:01

I would, but I'd want to speak to them first. It's a bit different to going just with his pal.

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 21/03/2010 00:02

i know, but bof, what happens if i dont like the mum??

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 21/03/2010 00:06

Unless she's a crackwhore, I think you can reasonably assume he will be safe and looked after. Personally I would never have gone to a festival with my parents, so they must be fairly ok

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 21/03/2010 00:19

duely feeling fairly guilty.

yeh,
thanks

i know i asked for it

OP posts:
MissAnneElk · 21/03/2010 00:23

Have you met his friend? Depends on which festival it is? You could speak to the parents and say your DS has said they have invited him but you don't want him to go and take it from there. If your initial approach is no, you won't be backing down if you stick to that. On the other hand, you might decide that they seem OK and you will be happy with the situation.

BritFish · 21/03/2010 00:30

totally depends on the festival.
and the adults involved. personally i didnt let mine camp at festivals until they were 16, but thats only because i felt they were old enough to be out without responsible adults. and DS only came home with minor injuries.
i suppose if the parents are going itd be okay though, cramp their style!

SolidGoldBrass · 21/03/2010 00:30

I got let go to a (one day, admittedly) rock festival at 15, with just my then boyfriend and his mate. My dad said to me later that he and my mum had been none too keen but thought it wasn't fair to stop me going - and I hada fab time and got into no trouble at all.
I think you are unreasonable to stop him going without at least talking to the other family - they might be just as nice and sensible and responsible as you are. Also, is your DS a generally sensible teenager? Ask yourself if you think that he wants to go to the festival in order to take drugs, have fights and get laid or if he wants to listen to the music? Most rock festivals these days are absolutely rammed with Guardian-reading parents exposing little Jocasta to authentic-music-not-High-School-Musical anyway.

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 21/03/2010 10:16
OP posts:
GheeDeMaupassant · 21/03/2010 10:32

I think it depends on your DS, as SGB says.

I went to Glastonbury at 15 with 3 girlfriends and it was an adventure! I was/am extraordinarily sensible (boring even) and we managed to get ourselves there and back in one piece. I also managed to meet up with cousins and other friends over the weekend (pre-mobile phone days) which I think is pretty good going.

I think going with another family is fine, but you know your son.

sarah293 · 21/03/2010 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 21/03/2010 10:41

oh yes
I would have loved the idea of him doing that

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 21/03/2010 11:36

hmm, now to convince dh.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 21/03/2010 11:39

which festival?

Original poster
Slartybartfast · 21/03/2010 11:54

sonosphere, with iron maiden, iggy pop, and more. don't know who.

OP posts:
Amandoh · 21/03/2010 11:59

I'd arrange to meet the family he'd be going with before saying an absolute "No".

Invite them over and be completely honest with them as to why you're inviting them. Explain your general dos and don'ts as far as your son is concerned and ask what theirs are. At least if you do end up saying no then you can do it there and then in front of them and your son.

My DS1 will be 17 in April and he wants to go to Reading this year for four days. There'll be a group of about 10 of them going. I've said that I'd like to know exactly who he's going with and I'd like contact details of a few of their parents and for them to have mine so that they can contact me or I can contact them if we're worried about anything.

webwiz · 21/03/2010 12:57

My DD2(16) went to the V festival last year with a group of friends and the parents of one of the girls. The parents camped a little bit away from the girls but were there for emergencies and to keep a general eye on them. It worked really well and this year now that they've had a practice at camping the girls are going on their own.

RunningOutOfNames · 21/03/2010 15:04

I think I'd pay someone huge amounts of money to take one of my teens away for three days!

It does sound like a brilliant opportunity and a good stepping stone to doing it just with friends next time, almost inevitable next year.

What is your DH worried about in particular?

FiveGoMadInDorset · 21/03/2010 15:06

Agree with a get together but I think if he is going with adults then let him.

lazymumofteenagesons · 21/03/2010 15:56

DS1 went to reading at 15 (summer after year 10) and Benicassim in Spain at 16 after gcses, none with anyone's parents. Totally depends on your son. I would have no qualms if the parents were going, you don't have to like them just trust that they are reasonably responsible.

Remotew · 21/03/2010 16:11

DD and I went to one last year. We had a great time. She did ask if she could go to it again with mates this year but she will be 16. I had no qualms in agreeing but as it has turned out we are both going again together. She said she'd rather go with me.

Tortington · 21/03/2010 16:18

yes i ould what wonderful memories for your child to have.

i thnk thats what its all about really, life is only a collection of memorable times good and bad, and this would be an unforgettable memory .

piscesmoon · 21/03/2010 16:28

Why not meet the family and discuss it, before making up your mind? It all depends on your 15yr old and they other family.