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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Homework issues

10 replies

desertmum · 08/03/2010 08:17

aaagh, DS (13) is a really really bright boy who just doesn't do his homework. I'm working onthis with school - he's being put on homework report which means he has to have a sheet signed every day by the staff and myself. But how do I motivate him to do the homework ? I am thinking of taking away his ex-box, computer and phone - is this over the top or acceptable ? He has about 6 pieces of outstanding homework he has to have done by Friday as well as his homework he will be given for the week.

I know taking all the stuff away will cause a major row, but am prepared to do it if needs be. Thought I would take it all away and give phone back on Friday afternoon if all homework is caught up and done in a neat and tidy manner (has dyspraxia so tends to be illegible at times . . ). The xbox and computer will be returned if and when he changes his attitude and shows he is putting in some effort. I just need a bit of virtual support I think as I'm pretty sure this is the way to go.

OP posts:

Hardys · 08/03/2010 08:19

Remove the xbox etc, until the homework is done. No negotiations. He will soon knuckle down , purely because he will want it back. Not because he wants to do the homework of course!

Hardys · 08/03/2010 08:20

And if he gives you grief, which he undoubtably will, to start, add on a day without the xbox.

Mine are only allowed theirs from friday to sunday.

fartmeistergeneral · 08/03/2010 08:21

I feel for you. Have an 11 yo who is terrible at doing homework, don't know how he's going to get on at high school.

Saying he can't play on his x-box (bane of my life) til his homework is done sounds reasonable to me!

Original poster

desertmum · 08/03/2010 08:36

thanks everyone - that is what I needed to hear! So am now armed and ready when I pick him up from school. If you hear yells and shrieks it's probably my DS!!

OP posts:

Shodan · 08/03/2010 08:41

I feel for you too. My 14 year old ds1 is always in trouble for not doing homework.

I've found consistently removing privileges (xBox also being the bane of my life) and constant questioning (have you got homework? have you done your homework? what homework do you have? where's your diary? etc etc) usually does the trick but my god it's boring and I hate the sound of my own voice.

It sounds like your ds's school are keeping on top of things but perhaps you could ask them to phone you with updates/problems etc.

I also find little rewards are good (e.g bit extra time on xbox when he gets it back). Ds1 has started earning top marks at school since we put all these measures in place.

Babysamrocks · 08/03/2010 09:20

I have 2ds's the eldest started secondary school in september and homework has become a real problem. If it was left up to him he would do it all at the last moment on sunday sfternoon.

A friend of ours suggested a homework hour every night and i have to say it has been fab. Ds comes in from school and up until after we've eaten he can do what he likes, then after we have the homework hour to do set homework, read a book, practice musical instruments etc etc. Both me and dh are on hand to help if needed. It has really helped us and more importantly ds.

Tortington · 08/03/2010 09:23

yip homework hour is what we have- if you don't have homework - read a book, do a puzzle some brain taxing thing. no tv. no games.

it didn't work in the later years but it was effetive through junior school until about age 14

Tortington · 08/03/2010 09:23

had* - we dont' have it anymore!

inthesticks · 08/03/2010 14:14

X Box strikes again. Bane of my life too, have just posted on another thread about that.

The homework "hour" was a suggestion in a parenting book called "Get Out of my Life.....but first take me and Alex into town". A great parenting book about teenagers.
The idea is that the hour is set aside and if no homework is set the child still has to study/revise/read. This avoids the "I don't have any homework " excuse.

I haven't used this because I haven't quite needed to, but I do expect him to spend an hour a day on it.

Another theory from the same book is that it never really works to give the child complete responsibility for getting homework done and the only sure fire way is to hassle them. I know that this won't help when they go to university but that's another problem!

When DS1 started year 8 he asked me to let him get on and organise his own work etc. I backed off at let him forget his lunch, his PE kit and miss his bus. His homework piled up because he thought he could catch up with it and he often spent all Sunday evening catching up.

In the end I stepped in again. I don't care if he forgets his lunch etc. He'll live. But I could not stand by and let him consistantly hand in sloppy , rushed work.
So now I nag him again and make him do HW every day.

lairymum99 · 10/03/2010 20:53

Homework hour sounds like excellent advice, and your ds is just about young enough to accept it (and the consequences).

Is it me or is the xbox the most addictive distraction ever to have been marketed at teenage boys?? A strong word of caution to parents who don't yet have an xbox in the house: DONT GET ONE!

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