Discovered DD2 maybe self harming

[secretservice]

Took DD2's phone off her this morning before school, punishment for taking some of DD1s clothes. She didn't have time to lock and password it, so I snooped

There are half-a-dozen messages from last night talking about cutting herself, with her friend asking about how much she bled etc. DD2, who's 14 next month, says she can't stand being fat anymore, which is why she did it.

I have checked her room and there's no sign of any blood there at all. Something about the other girl's responses felt a bit off, as if it was exciting, rather than worrying.

DD1 has been really cheerful of late, and although we were worried about her around the ages of 9-11, we thought we/she had got over that now.

Could she have been lying to impress her friend? I am so scared that she's so very miserable and I hadn't noticed. Help please

Well, if she has cut herself, she will have cuts. Sometimes girls do cut for experimentation, I've heard. But obviously the fat issue puts a different slant.

Can you talk to her?

I can talk to her, yes, but am scared I will make it worse somehow, if I go about it in the wrong way.

She's not actually fat by the way.

have a young relative who has self-harmed and have been reading about it - including threads on mumsnet. It is said to be about control.

You could have a general talk with her about the media and body image and how women are pressurised to be stick thin when that is unhealthy.