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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Would you send an almost 16 yr old as unaccompanied minor?

38 replies

mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:21

DS is off to the States in August, his friend is going out alone the week before and ds will fly alone & hook up with the friend (same age) and friend's 28 yr old brother and young family. They'll be doing a white water rafting course & various other stuff.

DS will be flying United out of LHR via Denver, changing planes on a two hour stopover and then on for a short (1.5) hour hop to final airport.

He'll be a couple of weeks short of his 16th birthday, is a bright kid but has never flown transatlantic (or anywhere for that matter) alone before.

United are relaxed, they say they're happy for him not to travel as UM, but I'm not sure really.

Any experience/views?

OP posts:
weegiemum · 02/02/2010 22:23

I was made to fly as an unaccompanied minor at 15 and a half and it was one of the single most embarrasing things that has ever happened to me - just thinking about it now makes me cringe with embarrasment.

So I would say don't - but you know your son best!

mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:25

Why was it cringy, Weegie, were you treated like a small child?

OP posts:
coldtits · 02/02/2010 22:30

I traveled to Canada aged just 16. I went on a British Airways flight there, and was mostly ignored, left to my own devices (reading) - but it was the first time I had ever flown and was quite frightened. I could have done with some attention, I think, but I was Ok.

However, on the way back, I flew Air Canada, who had decided I was A Child. I was duly presented with a colouring book and pencils, mithered by the staff, and only given a children's meal

In retrospect, I preferred to be treated as an adult. It depends how bumptious and self important your son is - I was very full of my own impact at 16, and HATED being treated as a child.

weegiemum · 02/02/2010 22:32

Yes! All the other UMs were about 6 or something except my sister who was 13. We were made to wear these labels round our necks that made us look like we were being evacuated in WW2 and we were all given a little "party bag" of things to do aimed at a 7 year old and given "children's" food and talked down to by the ditziest cabin crew person I have ever met in my life.

It was dire, but I didn't have much option as I was flying with my bro and sis and they were too young to go alone.

PacificDogwood · 02/02/2010 22:34

I travelled to the States as UM aged 10 - and loved every single minute of it!

At almost 16 I can see how it would be a bit mortifying though... How well travelled is your DS?
Flying is actually easier or at least harder to get wrong than going by bus IMO...
I presume he will be collected at the other end?

Depending on how mature he is (you obviously know him best) I would be inclined to let him fly solo.

BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 22:35

My 13 yr old is going to Oz at Easter on her own. I'm sure he'll be fine.

mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:35

Hmm, bumptious and self important aren't the first things you'd think when you met him, I think, he's usually described as polite and friendly (eg he gives his seat up on the tube to old ladies type).

The main worry I have is that two hours isn't that long to collect his baggage & recheck it onto the next flight, but I guess he could get around that by just taking hand luggage (how many Tshirts and jeans does a boy need in August...)

If it were a direct flight I wouldn't be worrying, I don't think.

OP posts:
vvvodka · 02/02/2010 22:36

what ethnicity is he? unless he is caucasian white, and looks it, i would never in a million years allow a male i had any influence over under the age of thirty on a plane to america on his own.
ive seen too many films of what the americans can do to someone they dont like the look off. human rights, liberty, civil laws, none of that matter a touch when it comes to what american anti terror people can do if they feel like it.

Cathpot · 02/02/2010 22:36

Very similar to weegiemum. I flew UM for probably a year, but eventually rebelled, refused to hand over passport and at 14 essentially went awol. Didnt have to go UM again. The first time my younger sister had to do the same trip on her own I wrote her a 'how to' guide to airports so she had an idea of where she was going- perhaps something like that would let him be independent?

ShrinkingViolet · 02/02/2010 22:36

I would let DD1 (at 16.5) but then she's flown domestically a fair bit as both an UM and alone. Depends how sensible and/or streetwise the Dc is i'd've said. Is he happy to go? Have you talked through all the "what ifs"? (I let DD1 go on a 4 hour train trip to meet up with friends when she was nearly 14, and got a series of texts throughout the day - "not dead yet", "no-one's stolen my purse", "haven't lost my train ticket" ).
Will someone from the activity course be meetign them at the end destination?
If the DC was happy, I'd probably do it, but make sure they had a mobile which could text from the States, so I could have updates. Also would do some serious googling to find airline updates and airport CCTV.

vvvodka · 02/02/2010 22:37

eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk, mumble, hand luggage only, on a plan to america, aged 16 on his own???????????????//
are you trying to get the child arrested?

seeker · 02/02/2010 22:37

Solo at 16 definitely!

ShrinkingViolet · 02/02/2010 22:38

meant woudl let Dd fly alone, not as an UM. Am considering letting DD2 (once she's 12) fly unaccompanied domestically [am slacker parent]

PacificDogwood · 02/02/2010 22:39

vvvodka, what kind of experiences have you had??? And how are your posts helpful to answer the OPs question?

gerontius · 02/02/2010 22:39

vvvodka.....if American security wants to question you, they'll do it, regardless of whether you're by yourself or not.
OP, he'll be fine.

mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:40

vvvodka, you're scaring me now! DS is mixed race and I hadn't really thought of that as a factor. DH travels to the States every month and certainly he's getting a lot more attention now, he often gets taken into another room and grilled about what business he has in the States etc (he's a VP in a huge global co.). You don't need to look like a homeboy to be stopped.

OK I think I've made my mind up to send him as a UM just to hopefully protect him from that.

OP posts:
weegiemum · 02/02/2010 22:40

Hand Luggage only is a real 'red flag' as that's what terrorists do. Apparantly .

More likely to get pulled over at security that way!

vvvodka · 02/02/2010 22:40

the original poster asked a question about our opinions, and i gave mine. if it doesnt agree with yours, then that doesnt mean its not valid.
i have given my opinion, and the reasons for it. obviously the op will do as she sees fit.

MmeBlueberry · 02/02/2010 22:41

I think as long as they understand their itinerary, they should be fine.

How is your DS on public transport in general? Has he taken a complicated train journey on his own, for example?

mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:42

God I'm really naive, hadn't thought of him being considered terrorist material just because he's got an afro and a rucksack!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 02/02/2010 22:43

He's a country boy really, we live in a small village but he and the same friend went into London alone a few months ago and lived to tell the tale.

He's flown plenty of times before but never alone.

OP posts:
vvvodka · 02/02/2010 22:43

gerontious, fortunately i've had no negative experiences, just seen films about it. besides which, i havent been to america since 1991. or was it 1990

i travelled as an um from the age of 15. but, i was used to travelling internationally, and the world was a different place back the,. so no comparison really.

RumourOfAHurricane · 02/02/2010 22:47

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RumourOfAHurricane · 02/02/2010 22:48

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BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 22:50

Perhaps take your chances then, mumblechum- there could be a movie deal in for him?

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