My 13 yo son lives in filth

[katnkittens]

His room is VILE

I have 2 younger DDs (11 and 6) and another dd on the way and he does nothing to help out. Even my 6 year old dd helps to tidy her room but DS doesn't listen.

Now and again I give him a bin bag and ask him to tidy but he superficially does a bit and then leaves it.

I have been through his room and blitzed it a few times but it lasts a week and is minging again so I now refuse to go in there...

Banana skins and apple cores seem to be the main offenders

He also refuses to shower unless I physically go into his room and stand there until he enters the bathroom. I have to check to make sure he has changed his boxers... I do this hoping the embarrassment will make him change more often but it doesn't... BTW I have never noticed him 'smelling' so I obviously get him in the shower often enough but it drives me mad that I have to tell him to do it.

(sigh)

He is a lovely boy in every other respect, gives me no trouble, possibly because all he does is grunt and give me the occasional cuddle

Does anyone else miss their little boys

Anyway, the point is, we are moving house in a few weeks and I am am on a mission to make my son keep his room tidy and himself clean. All 4 DCs (including yet to be born dd3) will have their own rooms and I can't be on their backs all the time with a new baby.

Any ideas? He loves his computer and karate classes, maybe I should have a room inspection (for the 3 older ones) once a week or something and if it's a mess they lose an activity that week?

Please tell me my son is not the only one in the world.............

Agree with the "no food (or drink) upstairs" rule. I decided a couple of years ago that he needed to have somewhere that he could be autonomous, so he could keep it in what state he liked, as long as there is a clear path to the airing cupboard. He will only be allowed food and drink if he starts to keep it tidy, but that's his choice. I try really hard to resist the temptation to say "I told you so" when he loses stuff or there is an avalanche from his desk. I leave it to him to change his own bedding and vacuum (not very often!) as long as the mess doesn't start to creep out of the door...
As for the cleanliness thing, I had the same problem, and the solution was the same ... a girl. Now he spends longer in the shower than I do - and he even tidies up a bit when she's coming over! Btw he is now 17.
And yes, we still hug

Not read whole thread but when you move house make upstairs a food free zone for everyone, that cuts down on grotty food rotting up there and dirty cups and dishes. Easier to change this in a new house. Then also laundry basket in his room and you will only wash clothes that are in it.

Does he get any allowance from you? If he does make Fridays after school a tidy up slot for all the dcs rooms, if he is not already eager to spend money on a weekend he soon will be!