teenagers and lies

dawniy · 2003-06-05T23:28:27+00:00

has anyone else had problems getting the truth out of teenagers . my son is just like kevin and perry and i have just had enough of him lying to cover his back. I'm feeling like i cant trust him anymore.

Britabroad · 06/06/2003 00:34

Fab organisation in NZ which have a web site and are really switched onto teens. Give it a go?
Don't know how to do links but it is www.parenting.org.nz.

Hope it helps.

Tortington · 10/06/2003 21:08

teenagers eh!

i love all these teenage threads i get to talk about my kids present tense!

lou33 · 10/06/2003 21:57

My 11 year old acts like a teenager. I'm seriously considering banning her from any American teen type shows that seem to be all over the place, because of all the hand action I get when she is storming off (hand waving as in talk to my hand), which turns me into the scariest ,angriest mother on earth when she does it. Combine the hands with Kevin and Perry and I think you get the picture.

Tortington · 10/06/2003 22:09

my 10 yr old daughter does the same thing

lou33 · 10/06/2003 22:18

Does it make you as angry as me? I get a red mist forming that counting to 1000 won't even shift. I just can't bear bad manners and disprespect from children to their parents. I don't know how some manage to stay so calm. I witnessed one girl say to her mum that she was a fat pig and no wonder everyone hated her at work, and it just flowed over her like water off a duck's back! I wish I had that capacity. Dd gets all sorts of groundings and withdrawal of privileges for being so horrible.

Boe · 11/06/2003 08:45

Annoying little brother just used to say 'Duh' everytime you spoke to him - I am not a violent person but felt like I could have killed him!

Was at Lakeside at the weekend and heard a teenager tell her father that he was a C* and she never wanted to go shopping with him again!!! He just smirked at her - not sure whether he was amused or it was an embarrased smirk - would hope it was a you have no idea what is coming to you when you get home smirk - I would have thrown her telly out of the window along with everything else she owned and make her go and clear it up.

Do find though that embarrassing teenagers is the best thing to do - their cred really means so much to them at that age.

You could always try ignoring him completely - not just the lying but everything - is really irritating but when he asks why you are ignoring him just say that you don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth so is better that you don't listen to him at all. (There is always the bar of coal tar soap - although may be a form of child abuse these days - washing up liquid also good - contains a nasty thing called bitrex that tastes really yucky - I know but I do not swear out loud so must have taught me a lesson!)

Boe · 11/06/2003 08:45

Annoying little brother just used to say 'Duh' everytime you spoke to him - I am not a violent person but felt like I could have killed him!

Was at Lakeside at the weekend and heard a teenager tell her father that he was a C* and she never wanted to go shopping with him again!!! He just smirked at her - not sure whether he was amused or it was an embarrased smirk - would hope it was a you have no idea what is coming to you when you get home smirk - I would have thrown her telly out of the window along with everything else she owned and make her go and clear it up.

Do find though that embarrassing teenagers is the best thing to do - their cred really means so much to them at that age.

You could always try ignoring him completely - not just the lying but everything - is really irritating but when he asks why you are ignoring him just say that you don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth so is better that you don't listen to him at all. (There is always the bar of coal tar soap - although may be a form of child abuse these days - washing up liquid also good - contains a nasty thing called bitrex that tastes really yucky - I know but I do not swear out loud so must have taught me a lesson!)

Tortington · 11/06/2003 17:03

bad manners is annoying - i dont usually get the red mist unless am having a row with him indoors!

i do speeches that any politician would be proud of - they all set me off on one last night where i just preach and preach - not shout - but go on and on - until they glase over! last nights episode was about not moving clothes from bedroom floor to washing bin which was erm.... 1 foot away!

teenage son was crying becuase he had nothing to wear - and its all over his bedroom carpet!

lilibet · 11/06/2003 18:01

not sure my dd, 14, has a bedroom carpet its that long since I've seen it!

Lollypop · 11/06/2003 23:32

Dawniy, have met some teenagers that will just keep lying and lying and will dig themselves deeper and deeper into a hole. Met adults that do the same. Usually it is to cover themselves and see what they can get away with. But also its because they are scared by being found out and the consequences. I always tell them that I may be cross if they've done something wrong but I will be upset and v.angry if I find out that they've lied -I have ways and means of finding out what they have done.
Lou33 I would never let anyone call me a a fat pig even DD, I have been known to 'talk' to to kids about the way they treat their parents. I just tell them that I was really embarrassed to hear what they had said and that if I were their parent I might not say anything but I would be really hurt inside. Its amazing how many shuffle and look at the ground at that point, not that I expect it makes much difference but it makes me feel better!
As for the badroom floor my mum just shut the door on my mess. Not that it helped me I'm now a very untidy adult but it saved her sanity.

lou33 · 12/06/2003 00:44

I'm constantly shocked by the way I hear some kids talking to their parents. Heard one teenager , on seeing her dad drive up, "oh look dickhead is home", and she was talking to her mum! Mum didn't even blink. My kids would be bricked up inside their rooms on bread and water for the rest of their life if they talked to me like that. I think if they can talk to their parents like that how do they talk to anyone else? They will have no respect for anyone. Ok, sounding like my mum now!

Custardo, I have the same problem with dd1 aged 11. Will even drop the clothes in front of the laundry basket but never in it. Luckily I have dd2 aged 6, who loves tidying up. She says she was born to be my helper! Which is an improvement from calling herself my slave, especially when she gets talking to people in the street about all the things she does for me. Rambling now, must go to bed.....

alibubbles · 12/06/2003 10:15

My DS is 16 on friday, he is at last coming out of that awful stage, he is pleasant and cheerful, quite nice to have around now!

DD (now 17) was far easier at the same age, she was awful from 12-14yrs old, backchat etc. DD was a very tidy child until about 12 and then her room was knee deep in discarded clothes. I just refused to collect any washing, it had to be sorted on the laundry room floor by noon on Sundays or do it themselves, it worked, and DS even puts his smelly rugby lit in the machine three times a week without being asked!

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Original poster

dawniy · 12/06/2003 14:34

Thankyou so much for all your messages - I wasn't being rude and ignoring you- it's just been so hectic here!!
Reading your comments just made me smile so much- it sounds just like our life here.
lollypop I am sure you are right about them covering their tracks and seeing how much they can get away with.

thanks for all your help all of you. Britabroad I will try the link as soon as i get chance.

Latest thing i have tried is I listenend to your tip about cred and have taken his hair gel(he can't face the world without spikes!) and baggy jeans , hoodies, chains etc of him. He suddenly seems more like my son again!

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Original poster

dawniy · 12/06/2003 14:36

P.S. the kevin and perry thing is funny isn't it!! But not so funny when you are living it for real! lol

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