'When they are 16, they can do what they want'

[Sherbert37]

Ex DH has been saying this recently whenever I try to talk to him about our DCs. Anything from mixed sleepovers with no parents there (DD at a friend's house NO NO NO), alcohol, staying out late, being late for school. DS1 is 16 and DD is 14. They are basically good kids but a few things like this have been cropping up recently.

Surely society / school expects parents to be in charge still at this age? Ex DH cannot see that he is taking the easy way out, or am I being too strict / controlling?

At 16 they can't just do what they want. In our house they still have to follow our rules. Yes the rules are less strict then they were at 14 but they still need boundaries.

no 16 yo of mine will be able to do whatever they want

that is madness

I also work under "my house, my rules" amd my kids know it

however, I don't think my rules are unreasonable. My dd (14) does sometimes, but because we have been soooooo consistent from day 1 she kinda accepts it now

however, I am not so smug/complacent that I don't believe that things could change in a couple of years....

I'm in the 'my house, my rules' camp. I've told my two when they are financially independant they can do as they please, while we are paying the bills our rules apply. Causes arguments, but they get it generally.

Agree with AnyFuckerForAMincePie