DD posting videos of herself on youtube

[esme66]

I've just joined mumsnet because I don't know what to do. I have just found out that my 15 year old daughter and her friend have been filming videos of themselves in her bedroom dancing nearly naked and posting them on Youtube. I was horrified but when I challenged her about it she said that everyone else was doing it. Is it true and what do I do?

It doesn't matter if everyone else does it or not - if you don't approve of it, then you put a stop to it. Sit her down and tell her - in a low and very serious voice, don't loose your temper - exactly why this is not good.

I am sure other girls do the same but I am sure that they will be stopped by their parents.

Take the videos off youtube and phone the other parents.

Oh, and welcome, I'm quite new here as well, it's a nice place ;)

Good luck - do report back with the outcome.

I would also do exactly what ivanda says.
Take it off youtube and ring all the other parents, then sanctions on computer until she learns to be safer with her usage.
Offer to take her to school like that because that's how public and irresponsible sh'e been.

Thanks for the advice. DD refuses to accept she's doing anything wrong in parading herself in this way. She says all her friends are doing the same thing. As a feminist, it makes me wonder why women fought to gain more respect. Has anyone else had the same problem?

I walked passed a house yesterday at about 6pm (so it was dark),and the teenaged daughter was in her bedroom upstairs in skimpy black underwear, curtains open, lights on dancing about, coming to the window, quite a show! I'm sure she knew exactly what she was doing.

I nearly stopped to knock on the door to ask the parents if they knew what their DD was up to.

I'm with the others. Get the videos taken down, see if you can figure out who else has been doing it and contact their parents, and restrictions on all equipment that could be used to facilitate this.

You could also mention that what she is doing is illegal - she is technically making indecent images of a child (herself) and could therefore be prosecuted for it - as could any of her friends who participated, and anyone who downloads the pictures or videos.

Some details of the law here.

(I should say that I haven't had to deal with this issue yet myself, but saw a TV programme - Channel 4? Think it might have been from the same people who did the Embarrassing Bodies series - about it a few months ago, and made mental note of the legal issues for future reference and argument purposes.)

Or you could just appeal to the 'yuck' factor and ask if she really wants pervy old men looking at her videos and doing whatever pervy old men do while watching videos of semi-naked teenage girls....

" As a feminist, it makes me wonder why women fought to gain more respect"

Okay, certainly it isn't right that she is advertising herself on youtube, you must put a stop to that right now.

BUT, she obviously thinks her body is gorgeous, is proud of it, and wants be admired.

She can be respected for being beautiful, as well as for being clever/caring/hardworking or any other attribute she may have. If your feminism denies women that, it is just as restrictive as the alternative.

Good idea though it makes my blood run cold. I think it's the whole fame at any price thing. I blame programmes like Big Brother and Celebrity Get Me out of Here. I bet a lot of parents are in total ignorance what their children are getting up to on Youtube.

Sorry to hear about this, you must be very worried. As well as all the good advice you've already been given, also take a look at the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOPS) www.ceop.gov.uk/ for both you and her.

They have a programme called 'Think U Know' that has information for both parents and different age groups about keeping yourself safe online.

I've recently been to a child protectioncourse at work and this kind of thing is a growing problem. At least you know about it and can do something about it. Take care

"I bet a lot of parents are in total ignorance what their children are getting up to on Youtube"

Which is why a computer with internet access in their own bedroom is such a dangerous thing.

Keep computer use in the shared family bit of the house. Pop past when she's on the 'puter, take a friendly interest in what she's doing.
Yes she'll think you are snooping. You are keeping her safe.

Tell you that you think it's great that she is happy having marvellous men like this one masturbating all over her videos

Thanks for all the support. Re the feminst angle, I suppose I am looking at it from an old fashioned point of view, but it still doesn't seem right to me to gain admiration or fame from stripping.