I'm being backed into a corner here

[inthesticks]

DS1 is 13 and has grown up a lot in six months. He has gone from being a very shy lad with little self confidence to a self assured young man. I am delighted mostly.

Until this summer he had never been out on his own. We live in an isolated area and his friends live in nearby villages. He now goes to the cinema with friends and has quite a good social life.
In the summer he went to one or two big sleepovers. Mixed sexes, 10 in a tent in the garden. I warned him I wouldn't automatically agree to mixed sex sleepovers.
Now he has a GF and is besotted with her. Wants to go to a sleepover with her and I've said no.
DH disagrees and thinks we should trust him. The trouble is I remember being 14....... Am I wrong?

I don't think you're wrong.
Do the girls parents agree to this or is all the information coming from ds?
I would ring the parents up and have a chat tbh and go from there.

Its wrong and it is not happening in my house.

The problem is not your DS - it is the other lads and there is always one who is out of control and take things too far. Add raging hormones and your DS, some of the other lads and the girls could find themseles under pressure to do stuff they cannot handle.

NO NO and NO. It will set a precedent, and within two to three years he'll be wanting girlfriends to sleep in his room and you won't be able to say no. If your husband is fine about his son having to pay maintenance not too far along the line to a girl he will probably eventually loathe, then tell him it's a great idea.

No.

nope, no way

Me and Anyfucker

lovin' it...

which one am I

btw, I do actually do that fold arms under bosom and hoick 'em up thing

With the pursed lips? Me too

My answer would be no

In the same position as you although my son is 16 now but his gf is only 14 and I haven't allowed him to camp out since they got serious. Know I can't control the situation forever but under my roof etc etc

Wish teenagers came with a handbook would be a whole lot easier

Just out of interest when would you? my ds is 17 his gf is 18

Hmm, there are girlfriends and GirlFriends. Have you had The Talk with him? Excruciating, but necessary. It could be that they are nowhere near the stage for you to buy a pram worry and that they are just 'best friends' and the sleepover is just a load of mates, sleeping over. In which case, no problemo. Or it might be that they have moved on from holding hands... in which case No Way Jose.

You need to talk to him.

I do allow it ..we have had a talk

I had a similar problem with my DD when she was 14. MN helped me enormously. In the end I trusted her, and was glad (so far!) that I did, and still do. She convinced me that :

• they weren't 'at it'
• they have sex ed shoved down their throats at school & youthclub, and she had no intention of taking any risks. *she would tell me if she felt pressured, not in control etc at any time.

She comes to me occasionally & tells me things that make me go (mainly drug-related rather than sex,) so it's important to open the communication channels, & listen to your DS.

Thanks everyone.
BitOfFun how did you get my photo?
Yes we've had "the talk". He says they have no intention of having sex but I have explained that his body will try to persuade him otherwise if he gets into a serious cuddle.
I did let him go on a mixed sleepover a few months ago but there were 10 or 12 of them and he wasn't going out with this girl. I know from snooping observation that he is very serious about the girl, though I don't know her very well, nor do I know her family.
At primary school I knew all their friends parents but that changed when they went up to secondary school. However I have rung the mum who's son is organising the sleepover. She seems very nice and has assured me that boys and girls will be sleeping in separate bedrooms, and her room is between them. She has an older son so has some experience of teenagers.
I have decided to say yes under these strict terms.

I like your style inthesticks