Does anyone have any idea how to tackle an unmotivated 18-year-old lad?
My son turned 18 in July and is now mooching around at home playing computer games and watching daytime telly.
He is retaking a couple of A level modules in Jan, but is doing no work towards them.
He decided last year not to apply to university after failing to motivate himself for his A levels, though he did OK. School was a pretty negative experience for him, with bullying, boredom and a sense of intellectual and social inferiority.
He is bright, witty, good looking, kind, generous (though of course I would say that!)He isn't into drugs and drinks mcuh less than many of his peers.
However, he is socially isolated (he's only ever had a couple of friends at a time,and has never run with a crowd). His long-term girlfriend is still around, but will be off to uni next year,and he doesn't spend huge amounts of time with her either.
My anxiety and frustration are growing in directt correlation. I am worried that he is spoiling his chances of getting a job by failing to do anything at all at the moment. All suggestions are politely listened to, and then dismissed, or at least not acted upon. He earns enough money with babysitting gigs to keep him happy (he has very small requirements) and obviously lives rent-free and with food on tap.
My husband is much more sanguine than I (and, it has to be said, out of the house all day!)and says he will kcik himself into gear when he is ready. In the meantime, I am increasingly angry at his lack of "oomph" and worried that he is dripping away his chances: surely any kind of employment will become more difficult the longer the huge gap in his CV?
Does anyone have similar experiences? We aren't pushy (perhaps that's the problem, and have always been supportive. I don't think he is depressed, but whether he's just bloody lazy, or simply confused is harder to define. I lost my temper the other day, and shouted something about not having an epiphany while playing Assassins Creed. And then had a huge row with husband who I accused of not being bothered enough. All very ugly, and not true. The whole subject of The Future is now pretty much taboo with son.
Sory this is such a long message for my first every mumsnet posting. I'm pretty desperate. I think I might have to go and get a job so he can stay here and look after house, dogs and siblings.