Shop lifting and too much parental honesty

[OrmIrian]

Last week DS#1 and I had a whole evening along together going to a concert. We were chatting about this and that and we started talking about when I was a child. In a moment of stupidity I admitted that I had once shop-lifted (a packet of chewing gum) when I was with a friend who did it all the time (she was later nicked in a shop and thrown out of school). I had felt pressurised to do what she was doing. Anyway, DS then confessed to me that he'd done it a 'few' times. Having already said I had done the same I didn't feel I could tear a strip of him so just told him it was a stupid thing to do and that I never wanted him to do it again. He could get into major trouble. He asked if I was going to tell his dad - I said I wouldn't as I felt I had 'tricked' him into confessing (not intentionally).

WWYD? Should I have been harder on him?

BTW DS isn't quite a teenager yet but it feels like he is most of the time

Orm, I can't see where you went wrong here. Although I would be asking what he had nicked and what he had done with it - and we would be taking this stuff back to the shops in question probably...not sure if that might make it worse actually!

You probably handled it right.

I don't think he still has the stuff to take back - it was all edibles. I hope he won't do it again but there are no guarantees. I think I left him in no doubt that I'd be angry if I ever found out about it happening again.

Fingers crossed.

Thanks.

hana - he is such a lovely chap it's hard not to have a good relationship with him He can be frustrating though - too laidback and not enough get up and go sometimes!

It was also strange to feel the parental relationship slip slightly and realise that we had things in common - albeit at a distance of 30 yrs or so. I think he felt it too.

I keep waiting for him to start to treat me with the disdain that teenagers are supposed to treat their mothers I'm sure it will come with time.