Hi, sorry this is a long post but I'm new to teenage traumas and would really appreciate some advice from someone who's been there before!
My DD has just turned 16, the eldest (hence we've not been there before!) and has recently blossomed into an attractive young woman after being a late developer (pds started only last summer!) She is slim, small, funny, talented and popular with her friends of both sexes and with no shortage of potential dates. However, apart from one brief "dalliance" last year which lasted a couple of months, and which she admitted later was a disaster (her words!), she has never dated in the traditional sense.
There is however one boy in her circle of friends (let's call him Jason) whom she has known for about two years and who I have long suspected has been very keen on her. Over the last six months there has been loads of flirting and horseplay, more than in the average platonic relationship at any rate! My conclusion was that she likes him a lot but is not ready for a relationship yet. As for Jason, his feelings were confirmed recently by his mum, while we were having a chat at an event attended by both our children. She volunteered the information as clearly wanted to find out more from me, and she told me that he had returned home angry and jealous one evening when DD had been asked out by another lad whom they both know, right in front of him! I knew what she meant because I had been there at the time. Unfortunately he had left thinking that DD and this other lad were an item. I was able to confirm to his mum that this was not the case, but by then he had already made a serious decision about accepting a place on a university course he was unsure about, partially based on his assumption that she was now with somebody else.
That was a few weeks ago and Jason recently had a leaving party at his house, with the guests camping out in the garden. DD had not been feeling well and retired early to her tent. What shocks me though is that Jason spent the entire evening very publicly "with" another girl (I've seen the pictures!) - a friend of DDs who had come to the party with another boy. I thought something was strange when I phoned Jason's mum about an unconnected matter the following day and she didn't seem keen to talk to me - perhaps she now regrets confiding in me about her son when he now seems to have shifted his attention in such a fickle way. However DD does not seem in the least bothered and wants both Jason and her friend to come to our house this weekend for a final evening of "chilling" before Jason sets off for uni next week. Trouble is, after the way Jason has been with DD, I don't think I could stomach seeing him all over another girl, especially at our house. I can't understand why I should care about this so much - a weird kind of "proxy" jealousy - but perhaps it's just that I want some kind of reassurance that DD is normal, and not having issues with her sexuality (is she perhaps gay?) or maybe inwardly seething about the situation and becoming seriously depressed about it - especially as the girl concerned goes to her school. I've tried talking to her but just get the brush-off. I'm hoping some experienced MNetter will come on here and tell me to back off and leave them to it, but she is so immature in many ways and I'm afraid she will get badly hurt somewhere along the line.