DS15 (my only child), who is 16 next month, has developed some problems and Im at my wits end trying to deal with them... To summarise, DS is bright but socially awkward and I have spent 10 years looking after him on a single parent basis- father only around a few days per month for visits.
We are living in my mother's house at the moment as I haven't a job and don't want to lower myself to claiming benefits. DS has had enough of living with me and his grandmother and has announced he is leaving home to live in supported accomodation when he turns 16. This is only weeks away and I dont know what to do, legally there is nothing I can do to stop him but I just wish he would be safe... He isnt really ready to live alone (can't cook, doesn't like cleaning, etc.) and I cant see whats wrong with staying to complete college? He has now decided to leave school and apply for a job on a cash in hand/informal basis, as legally he has a year of compulsery education left and big places would flag that up and therefore refuse him for the job.
He has psychiatric issues and refuses to live by the rules of society- he is foul mouthed and called me a C*m swallowing C!@t while he was high on drugs, into extreme hardcore porn which he discusses with strangers and underage girls, loves drugs and plans to relapse on them as soon as he earns money- I have had to stop his allowance due to lack of child support from father, so now he cannot afford to buy any supplies. DS says his behaviour is just "ahead of its time" and social standards will change one day so it will be accepted. I reminded him he must survive in the here and now, but he said he'd prefer to be "underground" and a "strung out pervert" than obey the law or live what I think is a decent life.
He was permanently excluded from the local comp for reading other people's data in the headteacher office- because he believes it is unfair child-protection files are kept under wraps and the public are not allowed to access them. He had a relationship with someone who discussed child protection issues explicitly with him at age 11 and says thats what "f*&!ed him up", and he has "Withdrawal symptoms" from the data he accessed then. He goes to CAMHs who prescribed anti-depressants (at DS's insistence, I was skeptical about the whole pills idea) and offered counselling- but he declined this because the counsellor told him off for mentioning extreme porn movies and promoting drug use. They are now moving him to adult services which is another worry for me as this may go on the record for any jobs he applies for when older- if he changes his mind about living underground on drug profits.
I have to suffer him every day being rude, repeating the same things about leaving home and drugs etc which lead to the same old arguments. I've had enough and could anyone who has had experience please tell me a way forward? Also has anyone else got experience with non-professionals illegally reading social service files?