Would your 16 year old manage this journey alone?

[TrillianAstra]

Would you expect them to? Would they be happy to do it or very nervous?

16 year old SIL is coming to visit for the weekend, MIL is driving her down. On the way back the train journey requires one train into London, one stop on the tube, and one train out of London again. Tickets aren't booked yet but they would allow about 45 minutes to make the change from one mainline train to the other.

MIL is saying that one of us has to go into London with SIL and put her on the last train. Is she being overprotective of her last baby? Or is this normal? What would your 16 (or 15, or 17, or similar) year old make of it?

(Obviously if SIL says she does want escorting I will go with her, but letting her make all the decisions, so she is not just following me but figuring out how to navigate the tube on her own)

practice run on tube is good idea. DS2 has been travelling to Kings X by tube then onto train to school since he was 12. Never phased him (although I was a bit nervous).
BTW I would walk between Euston and Kings X, if thats the tube bit.

has anyone asked her how she feels about doing the trip alone and if she would like some company for some or all of it? All teenagers are different.My ds is 15 and dyspraxic and would end up in scotland I'm sure.

I would ask her how she feels about it. A practice trip would be a good idea. Mine did it at that age but they were used to doing it with me.

45 mins from King's X to Euston is more than enough time. At 16 she should be more than capable of doing this journey. I see much younger children commuting to and from school.

Thanks for your replies, they say pretty much what I expected, that yes a 16 year old would and should be fine, but that some people are more nervous travellers than others regardless of age.

I've sent SIL a message to say 'get an afternoon ticket so we can mooch about in London a bit'. MIL has declared that she must be escorted (whether she says she wants/needs to or not doesn't seem to be an issue) so she will be as it's best not to wind up MIL if it's not absolutely necessary.

So we're going to go into London, go to a museum or gallery or something with SIL directing, and then go to Euston to catch the train and I'll then come home. MIL is placated, SIL has had a safe practice run and will be confident that she can do it on her own in future, and I don't have to just spend my afternoon on trains to nowhere.

Sounds like a good plan. My 18 yr old cousin visited with a friend soon after 7/7, her friend's mum would not let her use the tube. We just went with it and sent them back to where they were staying across London in a black cab as didn't want to upset the friendship. It is really nice of you to give SIL some "grown-up" experience whilst not upsetting MIL.

Ds first did something similar at 14. I was in two minds whether to go as far as London with him (we don't go regularly at all and live in a rural area), but he seemed happy enough to do it & I figured with mobile phones you can always phone & ask if stuck (in the event the tube line he was going to use was closed & he found an alternative route himself, without calling anyone). If a child is happy to do it then let them - it will increase their confidence no end.

just read your last post properly - obviously if parent insists then your plan is the way forward.

My DN was 16 and returning from 3 weeks in America (alone but on a summer school style thing) in August 2006, she got her flight to chicago o'hare (2nd busiest airport in the world) when all air traffic was grounded due to planned terrorist attacks she was grounded at chicago for 3 days I think, she coped fine. If it had been going the other way she'd have been an unaccompanied minor but coming out of the US she was on her own! DN actually said that if her mum or dad had been there she'd have been 'lost' and not known what to do but necessity makes you independent!

I'm sure your SIL will be fine!

was 16 y when travelling through Europe on my own (south of greece, north of Scandinavia).

Well at 13 I was getting the train into London, the tube to Victoria, catching the boat train to Dover, getting the ferry from Dover to Oostende and putting myself on the train from Oostende to Vienna, so my instinct would be that an averagely capable 16yo should not need that level of hand-holding.

I think if she lives somewhere v. rural and is v. overprotected a practice run is a good idea. But overall, independence is the way to go. And tell SIL that when she goes to University, knowing her way round London gives masses of extra kudos, or at least will stop her looking like McHick from Hicksville.

Take her to Camden Market while you're at it. Mwha hah hah.

Easily, I managed Paris, Belgium, Lanzarote and USA at around that age.
However, all 16 yo are different so would she be happy to go it alone?

My teens could manage that journey. It is pretty easy now with online journey plans.

I travelled through London from Scotland when I was 17 and then went on a month's Interail through Europe. I had to use shudder paper timetables and had no mobile phone to call mummy. That was back in the early 80s.

The tube might be unpleasant at times but it is pretty easy to use. All you need to know is which lines to use and which stations to change at. Even my 9 year old can master that (not that I'd let her do it on her own at this stage - but I get her to direct us when we are in London and she gets it right).

I travelled from London to Rome and back by train when I was 16, coping with changing trains etc, so can't see why a normal 16 year old should have problems with crossing London from one train station to another.

I went to Ibiza for two weeks on my own and zinged around the island on a moped at that age!

don't have a 16yr old - but I bloody well hope they can cope with it by that age.

I used to to Edinburgh to Bedford on my own on the train from about 13, often used to include multiple changes of train.

I'm from the country and am daunted by the London tube system and I'm 40 something.

If it was my DD (15) I would go through the instructions with her and let her make the journey alone. So I say MIL is being precious.

Flew unaccompanied from Hamburg to London at 14, and then made my way by tube to Pinner, with a suitcase in tow. Practice run through a good idea, but so long as they're not over-anxious should be fine!

Last time I was in London I was with friends from a pretty rural area (I grew up in a large city in Asia) and was amazed that they were in their 20s and nervous about getting lost and couldn't work the machines. Definitely think frogs is right about the importance of independence.

Still, keep MIL happy and lay the groundwork - your compromise sounds good and it's not worth battling over for just the once.

I was bought up in London and dad let us roam around on the tube (well, home to school to home, 4 stops , one change) alone when we were SEVEN!!!!!! That was thirty years ago though.

Sorry, didn't notice this had revived until now.

Yep, she totally could do it, but her mum isn't convinced and now she is not convinced (because mum is making it out to be a big deal). So this one time I'll go with her, and do something interesting on the way. And it will be only the one time because after that she'll have seen that it's easy.

LOL at Camden Market.

D3 17 would have trouble doing that journey by herself. But she does have dyspraxia and has got lost going to her friends who only lives a few sretts away!