boyfriends in bedrooms "of course we're not having sex!?!?!"

[brimfull]

dd is 17
bf is 18
quite a new bf but long time friend
she doesn't see why I think it's bizarre that I presume they would have sex when they are alone in her bedroom

Is it something about this new generation?...I know I am a dinosaur at 46 but I was NEVER allowed to have a boy on my bedroom

I have talked with her about sex/contraception helping out if she needs it etc

she says her and bf are still virgins and she will come for guidance about pill when she's ready

do you think she's taking the piss or am I paranoid mum for doubting her

she makes me feel like I am preoccupied with sex when I talk to her about it althoug she has said she will probably have sex with him but she hasn't as yet

Only old enough for this type of privacy if the parent is willing to accept it under her roof. Those of us whose parents didn't want to condone it still managed to have sex lives - we were just more inventive

It is hard when I was brought up by parents with a very victorian attitude to sex before marriage.
I was mortified when my mum came over(from canada) to stay with dh and I after we were engaged and living together..and we had to sleep together with her in the same house

It was purely the fact that we were engaged that meant my mother could accept it.

If my mother knew what her precious grandaughter was getting up to she would die on the spot.

from another point of view i had a serious boyfriend from 17-21. my mom never let us sleep together in the house even though we went on holiday together. yes we still had sex but there were far less opportunities wheras friends whose bf stopped over had sex far more often (more pregnancy scares etc). and once one stays, all future bf will end up staying.

Thats exactly how I feel, ilove. I don't want any of my children to have notches on their bedposts, or be simply notches on other bedposts - which is what it boils down to when you're young. The more opportunities there are the more it will happen, and the harder it will be to say no.

I have been with DH since 1 month after my 17th birthday. That is now a bloody long time ago! So I don't qualify as the parent of a teenager but I certainly once was that teenager.

My parents allowed us to sleep in my bedroom and his parents were exactly the opposite. His parents did not allow us the share a room until we were engaged and when we first started living together (when I was 18) they told all their friends that I was his "flatmate" which made loads of them think that we had split up as they had previously known me as his girlfriend!

Without letting on too much details I think we actually got up to a lot more at his parents than at mine as there we would just go to bed together after a big family meal all stuffed full and seepy and not do anything.

At his parents we would have to use the old tried and tested methods of getting around parents - some of them none too safe. Back of car, in local woods, fields (once looking up afterwards to find a very confused calf looking back down wondering if we were a funny type of grass) and because we were sneaking around in the middle of the day when awake and horny we actually got up to far more. And could probably have got arrested.

I think it is your house, so definitely you need to go with what feels comfortable to you, but thought you might like a thought from the opposite end so to speak.

thanks wriggler

I am much easier with her and him going into her bedroom now.
She's pretty clued up and if she's gonna have sex it's not up to me to stop it tbh.

She's certainly been keeping her room much tidier recently ..hoovering it as I type!