Bringing unexpected guests home

[motheroftwoboys]

How would you all react to thi? DS1 18 and a half/Upper 6 knows that he should always check with us before bringing anyone home to stay the night. He went clubbing last night and when we got up my DH realised he (the DS not the DH has a girl in his bed! We weren't expecting him back and they must have come in very late and didn't wake us. He has been allowed to have long term girlfriends sleep here but he hasn't got a ltg atm - as far as we know. They are still in bed. DH says the room stank of alcohol so I don't suppose they were "up to anything". I texted him earlier to say how we were very unhappy but I don't feel it is right to go into room and chuck her out. What do you think? He will no doubt come up with some story about how she didn't have anywhere to go/missed last bus home etc etc. I woldn't have minded if one of them slept elsewhere or if they had both slept on the sofas in our downstairs "den" where DSs often sleep but am I over reacting because they are in his room?

My eldest is only almost 14 so I'm not speaking from experience here but ........ what I think I would feel is that at over 18, it wouldn't bother me as long as a) they were in his room with the door closed b) kept the noise to a minimum (ie no pirate noises/swinging from the chandeliers etc ) and that the girl in question was introduced politely to me the next day, over breakfast for example. Oh, and I would expect a 'thank you for letting me stay'!! I guess I have no issue with the morality, just the 'politesse'

No, I don't think you are over reacting. I think it is totally diffent having a ltg stay in his room. Think it is reasonable to expect anyone else to sleep downstairs.

Probably need to lay some ground rules (once she has gone)

I agree with oxocube.

TBH my priority has always been safety. I would far rather DSS brought half a dozen people home, than that anybody else's son or daughter was left with the option of a cab or night bus on their own.

Having said that, we only have our living room, and so I don't mind if they take their friends to their rooms. Chances are nothing untoward happened .

I do rant if they make a noise, but that very rarely happens these days - they have learned the art of whispering and creeping.

You may all laugh at me as my son responded to the text and asked if we were "having a laugh" as it was one of his mates was sharing the bed (no - not like that!) There were also two in the basement! DH had thought his mate was a girl! He hasn't lived in down. However DS was still in trouble for not checking. I don't mind him bringing his mates back but sometimes feel we are the local b and b!

I'm not generally bothered who stays, but I do make sure DD tells me when her bf is staying over since the time I thought she'd gone back to his & wandered down in the morning in my bra to iron a top. Luckily as bf came downstairs he was talking on his phone, so I was able to duck into the downstairs loo & lurked there till he'd made a cup of tea & gone back upstairs. They'd decided at the last minute to come here instead & had been so quiet coming in that I hadn't realised.

you can't surely expect him to call you up at 2/3/4/5am to ask if such a body can 'stay over' can you??! goodness. you should be glad he is coming home, you know where he is, and that he is comfortable bringing his friends to his house. he is 18.

have you issues about him generally? i mean, is he studying/working/off to uni? is he clean and helpful etc? in the grand scheme of things i'd be fine with friends over at the weekend.