sleeping arrangements for older daughters

[samsy]

I am in a 3 bed housing association home and have 2 daughters age 10 and 18 and a son aged 12. According to their rules we do not need a 4 bed house but does anyone think we should get special consideration considering the oldest daughter is homosexual and has to share with the youngest girl? Not sure it is fair on either of them in the long term and she can't afford to move out. I have no problem myself but not sure if there are any rules for this unusual situation?

do you mean your eldest daughter is gay? Even if she is gay, this would not effect sister realtionship, would it??

Why is the situation unusual? You have a daughter who is gay, millions of people do

Just to clarify: I'm not worried about them sleeping in the same bedroom but concerned that they may feel uncomfortable themselves about it especially as the youngest hits adolescence.

Gala, I thought the same too. Glad I was not the only thinking that.

By the time the youngest hits puberty she will be fully aware of sexuality and probably her own. It wouldnt cross my mind to be honest.

Tbh, I'm not sure an 18 & 10 year old would want to share for longer than they have to. The older girl must find it less than ideal.

I don't see how that'd be any different if she were straight though.

good point, I suppose it would be just the same if she were straight, it's just that she has started asking if she can have her girlfriend to stay and I just don't know where to put them if she does! But that would be the same if it were a boyfriend. It would be so much easier if we has 4 bedrooms but I expect I'm asking too much there. I didn't mean to make it sound as if my daughter's being gay was unusual, it's just that I spent ages "googling" to see if anyone else was in a similar situation and couldn't find a thing so I started to feel like there was no-one else out there! I'm pleased to hear all the comments TBH because it makes me realise that not all people are as narrow-minded as i thought. Perhaps my kids won't worry about it if I don't. Off to find a cure for my insomnia now!

i think your lucky to have 3 bedrooms nowdays with 3 children if im honest as there are so many people out there cramped in to smaller accomodations.

I was one of them once with 4 children in a 2 bedroom house and was told i wasnt eligable so we got a mortgage and extended it just so the children could have there own rooms.

Sexuality would not stand as grounds. Besides in a few years as your daughter hits her teens your eldest may not even be living at home anyway.

Is your 18yo still being classed as a dependant? I think, once she gains adult status in her own right she will qualify for a room of her own IYSWIM. I would contact the housing association and ask how that works. At 18 she should be entitled to conduct a relationship with some privacy. Having said that though, she may have to move out before she is really considered to be non-dependant.

I would have a think about her sexuality if I were you, it sounds like you are not quite as on board with it as you are trying to make out. Being gay does not affect her sister, it is not something her sister will "catch" by close contact. Saying things like your above post to your daughter will make it clear to her that you are not quite as relaxed as you could be and may make her very uncomfortable.

Samsy, the only problems you are going to have is having an 18yr old sharing with a 10yr old regardless of their sexuality. As you say, you would have the same dilemmas if she was straight and wanted her bf stay over. It's not really feasible if she is sharing a bedroom - maybe her gf could sleep on the sofa if your dd wants her to stay over - I personally wouldn't ask the younger dd to.

Good luck