Hi I'm sort of new here though I have been reading a while (I usually lurk on the specialneeds board as I have a son with autism)
I have four children and they are now 17, 16 15 and 11.Oh and grey hair as a result!
The girls (15, 17) haven't given me toooo much hassle although the younger one has managed to get spectacularly drunk a couple of times. My 16 yr old son has been tricky to handle since he was about 11. You name it we've been through it.. stealing from us ..aged 12-13, lies e, smokes, recently brought home by the police for fighting and as a result is currently curfewed (by us).. he's still allowed out in the day but he has to be home at 8pm until his GCSEs finish because all the trouble starts in the evenings in our less than delightful village centre.
This morning my husband got up at 4am because he had an early start for work to find that DS1 was still fully dressed' I couldn't sleep so didn't go to bed'. Call me suspicious but I had heard him myself earlier.. he was keen to let me go to bed and he'd lock up after his sister came in. Usually he's up early but the last few days he has slept in and I am pretty sure he's sneaking out when we go to bed!
Unfortunately he has the downstairs bedroom so it is very easy for him. I KNOW he is frustrated because of his curfew but I am really worried he is going to get himself into even more trouble sneaking out.
Am I being too hard curfewing him? My view was simply that if he is hot headed and going to be getting in fights, he is simply best kept away from the village park for a couple of months ..and the police who brought him home were very happy with my thinking (they like him btw generally he's a polite cheerful kid) DS1 even accepted with bad grace that we were curfewing him not as punishment but so that he has a chance to finish school without getting arrested!
However off he sneaks..
I have told him this morning that if we can't trust him to stay home in the night he will have to swap rooms with his brother. That would be difficult as DS2 is autistic and needs to be near us(ie upstairs) but we might manage it.
I just feel so frustrated that he always has to abuse our trust. In person he is funny, likable etc etc.. but ARGHHHHH he is so frustrating to get through to! I';m encouraging him to find a weekend job now he has turned 16 but needless to say he hasn't made any effort.
I just want to be able to trust him!