Smoking?

[Lins75]

Yesterday evening I got back from shopping with my DDs and from the driveway I could see my teenage DSD and her friend on DSD's bedroom balcony, sitting (which seemes odd to me, why would they sit on the balcony when they have the entire room to themselves?). I went to check in on them, knocked on the door and it took some time before DSD opened. They were both in the room, but balcony doors wide open and some candles lit, the room still smelled like cigarettes.

Later on, I asked her if she had been smoking and she denies. I told DH and he asked her privately, she said no.

I am positive she had been however and am wondering how to nip it in the bud ?

Anyone had or has smoking teenagers?

I haven't got a teenager yet, but I don't think you can stop them smoking. They have to make their own minds up about it. Like we all did

You could however enforce a no smoking in the house rule.

You can't stop her, really.

Agree with bigTillyMint

can't really stop her.. but you can put rules in .. like not in the house.. no asking for money for ciggies.. ( you have to earn your own) and I would want to know who is purchasing ciggies for her if she is under 18.

You can't really stop them, you can however let her know that you can tell when she has been smoking. The number of people (even adults) who convince themselves that a squirt of perfume and/or some chewing gum hides the smell of cigarettes is astounding.

You could insist that any clothes that smell of smoke are washed by DSD and not by you. Smoking isn't allowed inside any more so she can't have the excuse of having been in a smoky cafe or pub.

Well of course smoking isn't allowed in the house but she still has her bedroom,balcony, terrace, the entire house when we're not home so thats that rule doesn't really apply efficiantly.

P.S We're not in UK.

It could have just been her bf smoking.

If it was me, and as I said, I haven't got a teenager, yet, I would have a grown-up talk with her. I would say that as she is now a teenager, she is old enough to make up her own mind about whether she wants to smoke or not, etc.

Then I would say that as she is ready to be treated as a young adult, she should respect your house rules, just as any adult guest would. Get her to agree this is the right way to behave.

Then I would lay down the rules and why you want them, eg not in house / on balcony, because it smells / passive smoking etc, if clothes smell of smoke she has to wash them, or whatever rules you would expect an adult staying in your house to stick to.

Then I would make the "punishment" for contravening the rules very clear, eg grounded, etc.

Yeah, it is possible that only her friend(female) was smoking but still she should have said so. I woulnd't judge, I just would prefer she didn't smoke but if she must then not to do it in the house as my DD2 is 2 years old and it obviously isn't good for her...

Thanks Tilly.

I would just have an absolute ban in the house and balcony-as I do for all guests. I would also make remarks about the stink of her breath and clothes and hope it would put her off!

When i was 13 (im only 18now so not too long ago!) i tried smoking for the first time, me and my best friend bought one cigarette each from someone at school (they arent hard to get hold of for under18s so if youre wondering how she did it, it wouldnt have been difficult!) and we sed we'd take them home and try it for the first time.

my mum wasnt home and i had a great idea that if i did it in the showeroom with the fan (dehumidifier thing) on my mum would never know... LOL =]

anyway, i did it, well attempted to lol, and thought id covered up really well i flushed the fag end down the toilet and put seat down and half n hour later mum came home and came into my room and said, whos been in the house, i said just me why, she said whos been smoking in the house, i said noone (trying to look really confused lol) she said lauren the bathroom stinks of fags, i could smell it when i walked in, theres tobacco leaves on the windowsill and a fag end in the toilet, no tell me have you been smoking in the bathroom?

well i couldnt really say no i was clearly caught out red handed! so i just did what i knew best at that age and burst into tears waiting for my mum to go apesh!t crazy at me, but she didnt. she did worse, she started crying and sayin quietly how disapointed she was, not only that id done it but that id lied about it, and she hadnt bought me up to tell lies and do sneaky things behind her back. it hit me really hard to feel like such a let down. if she'd have shouted the effect would never have been the same, hope my story helped x

i've just seen this and i know it's a week late but it's a subject that occupies my mind a lot!
ds is 16 and i cried my eyes out and was inconsolable for quite a while when i discovered he smoked, very OTT but it was my natural reaction and we're a totally anti smoking household
i'm afraid i agree with other posters that there is nothing you can do to make them stop, it has to be their choice to.
i have shown our local shopkeepers a photo of ds and warned them he's only 15! so no buying cigs there for next 3 years! i gave warning that i will dispose of any smoking materials i come across, in pockets of clothes put out for wash or dropped about the house and i do this
and other than that i just keep up the dialogue about how stupid/ unhealthy/ expensive/ unattractive smoking is. i never let ds or his friends smoke at home or even outside the house and just make my extreme disapproval known at all times