Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Unsupervised post-GCSE hols for 16-year-olds...

89 replies

LaineyW · 09/02/2009 19:49

My DD1 (16) want to go away for a few days with a group of friends after finishing GCSEs in the summer. There would be three girls and three boys, all 16.

Is there anywhere that would take them? So far they've investigated Haven holidays (have to be 21) and Youth Hostels (have to be accompanied by a parent).

Any ideas?

OP posts:
hazlac · 02/04/2009 22:23

My 3 16 yr olds are all going down to Newquay for the week after they've finished their GCSE's, they have booked it all themselves,are going by train, and have paid for it all them selves.They had to do a bit of searching but all managed to find a house that would take groups of 16 yr olds. Each of them are staying in seperate rented houses with their friends.I was very wary of saying yes to them going at first, but then remembered what a ball I had when I went away with friends at 16 and have such wonderful memories (why that makes me feel any better I have no idea?)that DH and I agreed that they could go. The damage deposit is extortionate and they have all agreed to no parties in the house's. I know I will worry all the time they are away but I think that will happen for ever and a day so I may as well get used to it now!: )

BeehiveBaby · 02/04/2009 22:29

I went to a music festival, was all relatively civilised.

sarah293 · 04/04/2009 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SpaceTrain · 04/04/2009 09:02

What about inter-railing? My DH did this with a group of friends (male and female)after his O-levels. Had a great time.

sarah293 · 04/04/2009 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 04/04/2009 13:33

Mine was only 15 when he finished his GCSEs-I just told him not to tell anyone he was only 15!
It would have been most unfair to have played the age card. I have always felt sorry for him. He struggled at school academically but always had to do the same tests as those almost a year older, but for physical things, that he was really good at, he was always held back-for example in the summer holidays he couldn't do somethings before he was 8yrs or 12yrs etc and yet all his friends could.
He was old enough to do the exams, he was old enough to go away-and he was much more mature than a lot of the 16 yr olds anyway.

Nighbynight · 04/04/2009 14:25

Hmm. My post O Levels holiday was youth hostelling in Scotland with older sister and cousin.

Is there a handy 18 year old or two who would go with them?
Also, youth hostels vary a lot, between big city ones, and small, remote ones by Scottish lochs.

sarah293 · 05/04/2009 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 05/04/2009 16:46

I don't know-mine was never asked his age. I am afraid that I would have been absolutely furious with a system that made them take exams at 15 yrs, that most take at 16yrs, and then said that a very small minority were banned from going away because they were too young. He was old enough for the exams, therefore he was old enough for the reward. If he had waited 6 weeks it would have been peak holiday season.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 05/04/2009 16:52

I wouldn't have thought places like YHA would check ID to make sure everyone was 16. I stayed at the YHA when I was 18 and looked a lot younger, was never asked how old I was.

bronze · 05/04/2009 16:54

I walked across dartmoor with a mixed group of 8 of us after our GCSEs. I don't think 16 is too young

roisin · 05/04/2009 17:07

Maybe I'm in cloud cuckoo land, but I would hate to think I wouldn't be able to trust ds1 to go and do something like this when he's 16.

Round here lots of the yr11s go camping after GCSEs have finished.

We live in a provincial town, so I'm not sure I'd feel entirely comfortable with them going to a city, even staying at a YHA. But somewhere out in the sticks - great fun!

Original poster
LaineyW · 06/04/2009 20:18

Just to update everyone on my DD's situation, one of the girls' mums has put her foot down and said a flat 'no' to this venture... so the whole thing has come to nothing anyway.

Why am I not surprised!!!

OP posts:
missingtheaction · 06/04/2009 20:29

she was probably on the camping holiday my mates and I went on after our o levels and doesn't want her daughter to do what we did. And my dd isn't going either.

cathyed · 30/06/2009 21:10

Hi I had the same dilema and i made my husband make the decision as i was so torn.... he decided that he could go and so is currently staying in a lodge with 10 mates the girls are staying in another one down the road.
I was very concerned about him going but i have to say that he could not wait to go and i think its good for him and in a strange way for me as well, trust has to start somewhere and at least they have each other !!
would be interested to know if they went away in the end
cathy x

brimfull · 30/06/2009 21:31

my dd wnet to reading festival last summer after gcse's

she is sensible and I trust her

she had a brilliant time and is going again this yr,is also going to Paris with 6 girlfriends for 3 nights

motheroftwoboys · 10/07/2009 20:53

I know this is an "elderly" thread now but our DS1 who is now 18 has gone away for the past couple of summers to Festivals in this country and abroad and also for city breaks. They always stay in backpackers hostels and have an absolute ball!!

mumonthenet · 10/07/2009 21:03

don't blame the mum who put her foot down!

I would have suggested that you gently find an alternative....which fits with your idea of supervision.

Trouble with 16 yr olds, is they THINK they can handle everything.

But, sadly for them, they sometimes can't.

Milliways · 11/07/2009 13:45

A 16 yr old boy in our town died last week at the Newquay festival

He was not the first this year either!

here

Having said that, different kids can be trusted at different ages. I would prefer they were over 18 before holidaying without adults though.

RustyBear · 11/07/2009 14:08

The boy who died was the younger brother of one of DD's friends.

DD went to a house in Devon with a group of friends post-GCSE's - no adults in the house, but it belonged to the parents of one of the girls, so she knew people in the village. They seemed to cope quite well - they arrived to find the house with no electricity, but managed to find & fix the fuse.

I think as Milliways says, it's something you need to decide for yourself, depending onthe maturity level of your child.

Original poster
LaineyW · 12/07/2009 23:09

Hello everyone, I originally posted this so thought I'd update you on what finally happened. I was very relieved when DD's friend's mum said no, took the pressure off everyone. We were coming to the same decision only were much more wussy about it!

In the end, DD has said to me she's so glad they didn't end up going. There were lots of ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend relationships within their particular group that by the time they were to have gone away, most of them were then with other people anyway and it would have been very awkward. One boy has also been excluded from school (apart from actually sitting his exams) and seems to be completely at war with the world so I'm not sure how he would have fared away from his parents and any sort of supervision.

Funny how things work out...

OP posts:
mumonthenet · 13/07/2009 18:20

thanks lainey for your update...it's always nice to see what happened in the end.

So often these teenagers are actually quite relieved to be stopped from doing something! A difficult path to tread for us.

slowreadingprogress · 13/07/2009 19:25

exactly Lainey and mumonthenet. Actualy they are often looking for that boundary - they'll ask because of many reasons - boundary testing, peer pressure - but in fact if they get a 'no' they will often accept it with relief. I think as parents we shouldn't be afraid to say no - otherwise what example are we of how to avoid peer pressure if we feel we must say yes because we don't want to be seen as fussy or precious or overprotective parents?

I think unaccompanied holidays are inappropriate for 16 year olds, they're not adults yet. There are other ways of marking rites of passage such as finishing GCSEs and of giving tastes of independence.

mumeeee · 13/07/2009 20:18

I agree with you slowreadingprogress. All 3 of my DD's just had a day out with thier friends. We bought DD1 a guitar and paid for some guitar lessons as that is what she wantes. I took DD2 and 3 to London to see a musical of hier chioce as that is what they wanted. NO way would I have let them have an unsupervised holiday at that age and none of thier friends did that either.

GardenersDelight · 14/07/2009 16:50

We've made a compromise with DD1 she and 2 friends are going to T4 on the beach which involves getting the train from Ipswich and across London then onto Weston, but luckily thats where my parents live and so will be staying with them. Will probably mean they will be totally spoilt for the weekend