Something else to feel guilty about....

[notsoclever]

The guidelines today from the Chief Medical Officer about never giving young people alcohol....

The press release statement says the information is meant to "empower parents by giving them information to make good decisions", but it only feels like it is another stick with which to beat ourselves up.

Those of us who thought we were being responsible by introducing alcohol in a safe home environment were apparently completely wrong. There are a third of a million 11 - 15 year olds who drink alcohol at a weekend and guess what? It seems it is all the fault of parents who gave their children some wine before their brains were properly developed.

Well of course I know there is a problem with binge drinking amongst young people - but I really think this advice is mixing up lots of issues about youth culture, peer pressure and teenage rebellion with some small medical evidence about brain development and alcohol.

Headlines like this just add to the guilt that normal, responsible parents feel. Oh and the guidelines also say "children aged 15 - 17 should not drink without the supervision of a parent or carer". For f's sake. Do any of these people live in a real family with real teenagers? Not condoning teen drinking at all - just being real.

Thanks, rant over.

The point is, though, they are guidelines, so those of us that believe what is right for our own kids will continue to do as we please anyway.

I shall still be letting mine have the odd sip of beer now and then.

But I may not be letting anyone else see me do it)

the whole thing is bullshit.

teenagers drink its a right of passage for gods sake. jesus H christ.

as usual, custy puts it far more eloquently than me.

But that was kind of what I wanted to say

Well put NSC! And I for one am fed up with "nanny" telling me how to bring up my children.

Like many others, we have offered our daughter alcohol from time to time in the hope that it is then seen as no big deal, and she's usually refused. In fact, sometimes she's told us off for offering it!

However, I do know that she drinks at parties and has sometimes got drunk - she thinks it is fun! I've discussed the risks of doing this with her and I don't think she has a "drink problem" but it seems she just wants to experiment. No amount of guidelines/legislation is going to change her, and those of her friends' attitude - it just doesn't apply to them.

I would like to add that she is a very nice, responsible person and doing extremely well at school and in all other respects, so even though I have my concerns, I've got to hold back a bit and not make too big a deal out of it.

Also, what about all those kids on the Continent who I understand are offered wine etc. with dinner from an young age? Why don't they have the same problems that we do in the UK?

I think there's far more to it than just the alcohol.

I was offered a small drink with my parents when I was a teenager. In fact, when I got to around 17 mum and I would sit on the patio in the summer with a large glass of campari and orange (showing my age there?)
Consequently I have never ever been so drunk I was out of control (yes I know, boring is my middle name)
At uni I hardly had more than a pint of cider and black (again showing my age)
Now as an adult, dh and I will share a bottle of wine with dinner a couple of times a week. I never drink more than that. Even at (extremely rare) parties, I never feel the need to drink.
My sister, who had the same intro to alcohol is exactly the same.

I was raised on the continent however.

I think the british teen binge drink culture is due to completely other reasons adn nothing to do with a sensible small amount of alcohol dispensed by parents at special occasions.

Hear, hear!

and whats more...its alldown to the parents not the acohol if the kids are out in the streets pissed up at 1am

Are you 'avin' a laugh here Custardo?

i think its not only giving or not giving alcohol but the whole culture of how to bring up kids.

nope - deadly serious - fi kids are pissed up at some ungodly hour - whilst out on the streets - its solely the parents fault

IMHO I think what is being said, and what I believe, is it depends on the message being sent out when parents are giving young people/children alcohol. There is a big difference between the continental attitudes, i.e. a sip/diluted drink with meals, and parents actually providing alcohol for their kids as a matter of course eg before they go out, at a party, etc. i.e. encouraging them to see alcohol as a vital part of a social occasion when they are still children.

Just to play devils advocate here. Would it be similar to introduce children gradually to sex, drugs, smoking, driving, etc. before they are 'of age'? Alcohol is when all said and done, a behaviour/mind altering substance, and to be honest I can see where this guy is coming from when he says 'childhood should be alcohol free'. Depends how you define childhood maybe. I have a 15yr old DS who I do not consider a 'child' - he is a young person. However, he is still at school, and in certain areas still referred to as a child, eg Army Recruitment brochures recently received!!

Who gives alcohol to their kids before they go out to a party etc?

Anyway Mummy, I think the point is that parents have to take full responsibility for their kids & their actions - it should have nothing to do with governments.

Whether we define a child as being under 18 or under 16 is so arbitrary but I suppose if parents were to be responsible for their children up to a certain age by law, we would have to define what that age should be.

Meanwhile, you can work & pay taxes at 16 & have a current account but you can't have a credit card. You can gamble (ie.buy a lottery ticket at 16) but you can't go into a casino You can have sex at 16 but you can't vote. And you can drink in the home but you can't buy it from a shop etc. etc. Who made up these stupid rules?

The key is to empower people with knowledge about alcohol, drugs, unplanned pregnancies etc. and then let make their own decisions. If they commit a crime because of it, then either they or their parents pay. Simple. The buck has to stop somewhere.

I know quite a few parents who give their kids alcohol before they go out to a party.

Well Bags - it's a shame but that's up to them!

I personally think that responsible parents, who care what their kids get up to, and where they go, should not be banded together with the others.

I honestly think that if parents were held accountable for their children's actions, then the crime rate in the under 18's would go down drastically.

Imagine if your child vandalised a car, say, and YOU had to pay for it, either from your wages/salary/benefits, or YOU and your child had to do some sort of community service in payment instead, I imagine that you would pay very close attention to what your child was doing when he/she was out of your sight and act accordingly.

Obviously it is a lot more complicated.

I happen to think there is a massive problem with binge drinking amongst teenagers, much more so than when I was young.

I have witnessed my older DCs (now at university)and friends drinking a huge amount, lots of vodka not the odd pint or two, three of cider and several of their contemporaries have developed quite a bad drink 'problem', getting into fights, being arrested.(These are 'nice' middle class teens, bright and without any discernable 'problems' otherwise.) I think the research that has shown it affects teens' brains is interesting

Some teens can handle it and grow out of the vomitting etc stage, thankfully mine have. But some don't.

It has really changed my attitude now with my youngest teen (age 13). I do worry about when he starts drinking,a lot more so than I did with the others, although he already seems to be pretty clued up about the pitfalls of alcohol (even though he has never had any, other than the odd sip).

By the way, DH and I drink quite a lot so I am hardly disapproving of alcohol in principle.

I suppose the question is whether the government should be 'lecturing' us or not.

Hi Bags,

I think the Government lecturing us is pointless. All that time and resources spent - what a waste! Those parents who care about their kids will find a way to deal with any problems and those who don't give a s* are not going to take any notice anyway. Similarly, young people who get drunk are not going to remember government warnings as they down the vodka!

That's why I said you have to keep it simple. Empower people with information and then let them take responsibility for their and their children's actions.

Regarding the binge drinking - I agree it seems to much more of a problem but I'm not sure if this is just our perception?

I remember going out with my friend and drinking a bottle of wine before we even got to the pub or club (and I wasn't even 18 at the time I think). And often, there was a fight broke out later between some guys or other. What seems to be worse now is the severity of the fights - using knives or stamping on people's heads!

My eldest very bright DD is now 16 and I know she, like her friends, thinks it's fun to get drunk at parties. I'm not condoning this and I have spoken to her about the risks of doing it. However, the only person she is really harming is herself and she wouldn't dream of beating up anybody while filming it on her mobile phone for example.

However, that's not going to stop me from being a wreck when she goes to Uni and is out of my sight for much of the time.

I just have to hope that her decent upbringing and own common sense are going to see her through.

Perhaps not everyone will be so lucky but no Government warnings or laws are going to catch everyone who falls through the net.

Actually, it's better when they are at university...you have really no idea what they are up to, whereas when they are at home you do

I think the scarey thing is that these children are not having the odd beer or glass of wine as another poster pointed out, but are drinking hard spirits. Their bodies aren't developed enough to cope with the levels of toxins they have to deal with when they drink vodka or other spirits. It also annoys me hugely when other parents think it's OK to offer my DD alcohol - she is only 14 and it's inappropriate to my way of thinking. It's also scarey that so many peole think it is acceptable for young teenagers to be drinking to such excess as they seem to nowadays.

My BIL/SIL certainly buy alcohol for their teens, and allow them to drink quite a bit on a social level at home. I'm talking a 14 yr old taking a couple of bottles of Bacardi Breezers up to their room to drink with their 15 yr old cousin. 13 yr old asking for a can of Magners. SIL saying that her 15 and 14 yr olds 'needed a pint of beer to relax them' at a family party.

I think that a glass of wine at the dinner table, or shared with your parents is one thing, but I do think that regular drinking by teens only reinforces the 'alcohol is a necessary part of relaxation' idea which is so widespread now.

Yes, desertmum, that's what I think too!

I am not looking back with rose-tinted specs to my youth. We did drink vodka, gin etc but nowhere near the quantities that teens do now.

It does seem to be much more acceptable now to drink huge amounts of alcohol and to collapse, vomit etc. Teens have always done that to some extent but I think it has really escalated over the past few years, probably due to ease of buying alcohol, cheapness etc.

Conversely, it's much harder for them to get into places and drink under-age, need identity etc.(but lots have false identity card things bought off the internet), so they tend to get 'tanked up' before going out on bottles of vodka.

I think everyone imagines it won't be THEIR child who will end up with the drink problem.