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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How do you get your teens up in the morning?

50 replies

bigTillyMint · 29/01/2009 07:34

My DD is not a teen yet, but is behaving strangely like one. She is soooooooo grumpy in the morning and refuses to get out of bed, often screaming and shouting at us

She used to get up fine, and has plenty of sleep - bed and lights out 7.30 - 8pm, woken up at 6.30 - 7am.

How do you manage with yours, please?

OP posts:

ChampagneDahling · 29/01/2009 10:28

Excellent suggestions here - fabulous!

I have a lark and an owl. DS lark gets up bright and early does everything himself - wonderful.

DD party owl and not a morning person. I put landing light on early open her door put on local chatty radio station and start rousing her, then go in 5 mins or so later and remind her of all the "fun" things going on that day that she needs to prepare for and remind her she needs to go to the loo (auto suggestion!!). If that doesn't work I get progressively louder and angrier until she becomes vertical (I won't say awake). She has lots of alarm clocks but just turns them off and goes back to bed. To be honest she is still pretty horrible until she has had something to eat and drink - she needs the sugar rush.

I wouldn't bother so much but we have lift share in operation and the parents that drop off on way to work can get into trouble if they are late and I don't want my DD to be the reason for that.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it all when when I'm old and grey (er) .... that'll be soon then........

It's life Jim but not as we know it...

Original poster

bigTillyMint · 29/01/2009 10:48

Great ideas, everyone - thanks!

Do anyone elses DC have a tantrum (after doing lights on, waning, etc), when you finally insist - 20min later that they have to get up now?

If so, what do you do?

OP posts:

pagwatch · 29/01/2009 10:56

I have instilledthat getting up in time is their responsibility from an early age.
DD obviously still needs help with organization but as soon as DS reached senior school at 11 it was his job.

The secret IMO is not to make it thatthe consequnce is just your anger/annoyance butthat there is a serious consequnce for them.
With DS's school this was easy. First day he over slept he got detention. Job done
He gets up, gets showered and dressed and has his breakfast. he then has to watch DS2 for me while I take DD to school. When I get back he can go.

cory · 29/01/2009 12:49

How would you deal with a situation where the school takes it out on the parent, pagwatch? In dd's old school if a child was late, they sent the EWO round to the parents. No punishment for the child.

cory · 29/01/2009 12:53

I hasten to add that I haven't actually got a problem with dd getting up; she is very responsible.

pagwatch · 29/01/2009 12:58

Cory
If the school didn't give a decent consequence then I would have to apply one.
At 15 DS1 understands that his current 'job' is primarily to go to school and do the few tasks expected of him at home.
His 'lifestyle' depends on him meeting these minimal responsibilities.
So my guess would be if he was late once I would warn him. If he did it again I would stop his pocket money. Again and i would take his phone . Again and that would be his computer and his nice clothes etc etc etc.

But tbh he would not like us ( me and DH) to think he was a twat so he would not do it that many times anyway -as he would know he was being one by not sorting it out.

I'm not a hard ass. he has a very nice life and we get on really well. But he knows the rules

Original poster

bigTillyMint · 29/01/2009 12:58

Yes, I see your point pagwatch - she needs to be aware of everything that has to be done before we go to school, and make sure she has enough time.

My worry is that I have to leave for work at a certain time, so she needs to be ready by then for before school club or it's me that's late, not her! And then I get stressed out thinking I will be late!

But you're right, I need to step back a bit and make her a bit more responsible.

OP posts:

pagwatch · 29/01/2009 13:00

He got home after agreed time a few weeks ago. I warned him and let it go. Next time he went out he did it again. when he got home I didn't shout or lecture. I just said 'hey - go get your phone for me'

Poor bugger
He hasn't been late since. And because he knows the rules I don't have to shout and lecture. It works for me. I hate shouting

nickschick · 29/01/2009 15:43

pagwatch - in our house for every minute your late home (without calling us to explain or without genuine reason)you are grounded a day .............ds2 is grounded til feb 13th due to not coming home when he should have befoe xmas.

brimfull · 29/01/2009 17:51

notsoclever-that rotary alarm sounds brilliant,hilarious!

optimisticmumma · 29/01/2009 18:36

What do you do if it's DH who holds everyone up?? All my 'boys' including DS(16) Ds (12) and DH underestimate time it takes to get up. It goes like this:
7.10 DS1 in shower
7.20 DS2 in shower
7.30 DH in shower
We are supposed to leave at 7.50 but it is always 7.55 and as I say to them the train won't wait!!
I find it really stressful, they don't. Argggggh

gagarin · 30/01/2009 15:57

bigtillymint - don't do her hair? She can have the extra time in bed.

12StoneNeedsToBe10 · 30/01/2009 16:15

DS (13)has his own alarm clock. If he doesn't get and is late, he won't get a lift to his mates (they then walk to school). If he gets the bus, he'd have to get up much earlier. Never had (much) of a problem so far.

Original poster

bigTillyMint · 30/01/2009 18:49

Gagarin, there's no way we could not do her hair - it would be so embarassing as it looks like a matted rats nest if she does not brush it!

Actually, following more discussions, I think the fact that she really doesn't like her teacher this year is making her not want to get out of bed even more. But that's a whole other thread

OP posts:

katinat · 30/01/2009 21:35

My 14 yr old dd must be down at 7 am. If she is late, I take her phone for 24 hrs. If she is late 2 days in a row, I take the phone for a week. Works well--she is down on time most days!

random · 30/01/2009 22:12

If my 16 year old gets up late and is late for school he faces the consequences at school not me... his choice ..one day hes gotta work for a living and be on time

stuffitllama · 01/02/2009 11:05

just marking this thread to read later

having terrible trouble at the moment and mine is making his sister late as they have to go in the car together

Hassled · 01/02/2009 11:13

My father used to play "The Floral Dance" by the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band very loudly under our bedrooms

I think you can do the loud knocking, setting of alarms etc until the cows come home, but ultimately they have to take responsibility for themselves - I let DS1 get into trouble for being late to school after he'd ignored my attempts to get him up, and he did then get his act together for a while.

stuffitllama · 01/02/2009 11:25

hassled I'm going to download that tonight

I can't let him take the rap -- he HAS to be in the car at 7.15. Quite often he is in without shoes or socks or shirt buttoned up then slumps like a corpse against the window

his sister puts his bag and personal effects in the car

it is dire

gagarin · 01/02/2009 21:19

"I can't let him take the rap"

why not?

just drive off and leave him?

He'll get a day home alone (disable the heating...) and have to explain at school....

stuffitllama · 02/02/2009 10:53

no i REALLY can't although I want to!

AussieLou · 04/02/2009 17:58

Out of the 4 kids, DS1 (14) is the worst. he never gets up on time. I stand there for at least 15 minutesw yelling ( I used to drag him out of bed but now he has a loft bed so I cant reach), he then takes FOREVER in the shower doing ??? and then has to do his hair. The other 3 kids and I then yell at him for 10 mins. I have left him behind and taken the others to school but he doesnt care if he is late. I have no idea what to do next.

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/02/2009 18:04

I just go into my dd's bedroom with a manic, GMTV-style persona 'GOOD MORNING', swish open the blinds, turn the light on 'What a LOVELY morning' etc etc.

I annoy my daughter out of bed.

This is the best approach after years of nagging and rows at 6am. Left to her own devices she would stay asleep all morning.

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/02/2009 18:06

Funny how when they were babies we longed for them to go asleep/stay asleep - just sleep at any costs.

Now we can't get the feckers out of bed in the morning!!

Suedonim · 04/02/2009 18:23

Once mine were at senior school they had to get themselves up as I had a new baby to care for. I am most definitely not a morning person so mine would prefer to get up rather than face me in the morning.

Dd2 has to get up at 5.50 and leaves for school at 6.30. Not once have I had to get her up. She has two alarms, just in case.

Those helicopter-type alarms look fun but you can achieve the same effect by putting the alarm somewhere away from the bed so they have to get up to switch off.

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