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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Why would 2 16 yr old boys wanna hang out with my almost 14 yr dd and her mate?

18 replies

liahgen · 25/01/2009 16:21

They insist, (dd and her friend) that it's innocent but it's quite a different age at this stage isn't it?

What do you guys think?

Also dd has told me they hang out with these 2 boys, and so I don't want to risk it going underground if that makes sense.

Am popping out but will be back.

tia

OP posts:
cory · 25/01/2009 16:28

No, it's 14 year-old boys and 14-year-old girls that are a quite a different age at this stage

Not saying that it is necessarily innocent but a very normal thing to do. I'd have a basic safety talk with your dd.

Original poster
liahgen · 25/01/2009 16:30

lol cory yes i agree with the age thing.

She knows all about the birds and bees, we have 5dc's, she's eldest so has no romantic illusions about babies so i guess i just trust her eh?

Oh god...

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 25/01/2009 16:32

It's only a couple of years difference. And it's well known that girls are more mature than boys so they are probably at the same level, iyswim.

14-16. 8-10. 4-6. 25-27.

Nothing in it, is there?

paolosgirl · 25/01/2009 16:33

I'd say it was perfectly normal - don't they say that boys are usually about 2 years behind girls?

A talk about safety, self-esteem etc etc would probably be a good idea. Good luck - are they nice boys?

Original poster
liahgen · 25/01/2009 16:34

no i guess not when you put it like that, and i suppose if ashe was 19 hanging out with a 21 yr old lad, i wouldn't bat an eyelid.

thanks, haven't told dh however, i don't think he'd see our point.

OP posts:
Original poster
liahgen · 25/01/2009 16:35

yeah they seem nice enough paolosgirl, they are both at college so not dossers,

OP posts:
pavlovthecat · 25/01/2009 16:36

When I was 14, me and several of my best friends hung around with several boys who were 16. Nothing happened between us, apart from a couple of times when my friend snogged one of them and realised they were friend and it was actually a bit gross! We used to just hang out and play on the boys rollerblades (tbh thats why I hung out, I did not have any and they were cool!).

I would not say it was entirely innocent, in that, we were becoming more aware of ourselves and dressed up a bit to impress etc, but not with much intention of anything really, just a growing awareness.

However, things are a touch different now, 14 year olds seem more grown up than I was at that age!

Original poster
liahgen · 25/01/2009 16:38

yeah i was the same, we always hung out with the older boys, nothing much happened as you say, so i'll stop getting all worked up over nothing.

Least she's telling me stuff eh?

Right, am off to do dinner now, ds moaning to go on starwars site.

OP posts:
pavlovthecat · 25/01/2009 16:39

I think its good, as you say, that she is being open with you, that way you know what is going on and can check things out from time to time.

smudgethepuppydog · 25/01/2009 18:54

Seems quite normal to me. DS is 16 (almost 17) and he has female friends who are 13/14 right through to female friends in their 20s.

DD is 18, one of her best friends is her boyfriend's sister who is 15.

It's quite normal for teens to have a wide age range of friends.

mumeeee · 25/01/2009 21:50

Sounds normal to me. DD2 17 goes round with a group of friends of boys and girls with ages ranging from 14 to 18.

herbietea · 25/01/2009 21:52

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BCNS · 25/01/2009 22:01

I have this but the other way around.. 16 and 18 year old girls hanging about with my ds1 who is 13!!! aghhhhhhhh

Pimmpom · 26/01/2009 11:34

Not saying there is anything to worry about but tbh I wouldn't be that happy with my 13yr old hanging about with 16yr olds. To me there is a big difference at that age (not when they get older though). Saying that, it is good that she is telling you about it. Just keep the lines of communication open.

mamadiva · 26/01/2009 11:46

One of my best friend's is a 17YO boy who I have known pretty much since he was about 9 as he was my cousins best mate but I hated him then

I am 22, when I was 15 I was hanging about with people from 14 right up to 27 it was totally innocent though.

Glad your DD is being open about it, I wasn't at first.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2009 12:26

I have a 13 yo dd and i woldn't feel comfortable with this.

When you say "hang out" what do you mean? Where are they and what are they doing? If in each others houses with parents knocking around, no problem. Messing about on street corners, more of a problem.

I think it depends on the circumstances, but glad she is open with you, it would be worse if they were meeting in secret.

mrsjammi · 27/01/2009 00:01

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Jampot · 29/01/2009 09:53

i think its ok but depends on where they "hang out". If the older lads are trying to get them to drink/make nuisances then I would cap the time they spend together. However its possible they just get on and are friends. My dd has friends (boys and girls) who are in their final year of college (she is year 11) and they have always been super. One of them (a boy) came on holiday with us last May. Another one dd used to go to gigs with and he always looked after her

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