teen mental health - am I being horrible?

[mysterymoniker]

I think my friend's daughter (who is 16 and also my daughter's friend) is malingering and that her mother is (unwittingly) enabling her. Then I feel very for being so horrible, but I can't help thinking that to support her the parents (and friends) need to push her to be more active and to help herself rather than to sink into this illness identity thing where she lies around all day being depressed until something nice happens to cheer her up.

I know there is a sort of atypical depression where your mood can and does respond to pleasurable external events in such a way as to appear to switch the depression on and off, but it's a bit marked in this case. I'm sure she does have periods of low mood but I think they've over-pathologised it and by encouraging her to see herself as ill, drop out of school and so on, are not equipping her with the tools she'll need to help herself through life. I think she just wasn't prepared for the amount of work needed for VIth form and this is a convenient way out.

Why am I being such a bitch though?

[morningsun]

cory,just imagining us tiptoeing across open minefield of right thing to do falling into pitfalls of ignorance and being blasted by howls of I hate yous and staggering on...

[cory]

that's the one, morningsun! let's keep staggering

btw I have found the SN board very helpful,

[morningsun]

would anyone mind me posting on there if is a health issue ?

[morningsun]

actually,silly question as she has issues with growth and missing schooling and may be eligible for a disability allowance[must look into that]

[cory]

they've never minded me

[morningsun]

will try there perhaps
she feels she might be on start of relapse [told me last night]has had her bloods done wed only a bit abnormal,so its treading on eggshells time trying to get info
feel pleased she is calmer and told me tho
is doing part of her gcses atm,and has finally agreed to get the booster 10% for ill health/missed schooling