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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Do you think your average 13 year old has had sex?

43 replies

SmilePlease · 17/12/2008 21:38

I do not have a teen myself but i'm forever being fazed with all these 'teen pregnancy' scenarios... do they really do this kind of thing at 12 ?

I have a 13-year-old brother and my mum wants to have 'the sex talk' with him after my dad has refused. But i don't think there's any need, surely 13yr olds aren't ready for such intimacy?

At what age would you say most 'lose it'?

OP posts:

deckthegirlandboywithholly · 18/12/2008 10:42

At dd's school in year 7 (aged 11/12) they had several lessons on sex education. It was very comprehensive! I certainly never expected her to come home and regale me with the details of "wet dreams"!!

And they certainly learned all about contraception. I learnt quite a bit

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 18/12/2008 10:44

oh yes, they should definitely have had the talk about contraception!

mumblechum · 18/12/2008 10:47

I don't think that many 13 yr olds are sexually active, either. I hope that 16 is about average, but what do I know.

DS (14) gets incredibly detailed info in pse lessons about various diseases, contraception etc, but not sure if anyone's demonstrated the banana/condom trick at school

CharleeInPantoPaperChains · 18/12/2008 10:48

I think about 14-15 was the average when i was at school.

courvoisierbrandycreamolafoam · 18/12/2008 10:53

15 or 16
pase tell me that is true
dd is 13 [aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh]

MouseMate · 18/12/2008 11:07

I was 14, and one of the last of my friends....... not a good thing.

pagwatch · 18/12/2008 11:07

I don't think it is common but it is not totally out of the question.

But I am not sure why anyone would have a 13 year old of either sex who was still uninformed about all the basics.
My son knew all about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases etc at 13. We have been talking to him about sex since he was old enough to ask questions otr be curious about anything on tv.

IMHO the people who are most likely to find themselves dealing with an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy are those who do not have the power of open and honest information.

If you don't have the conversations then how can you explain to your child why you wish then to avoid pregnancy and all the issues around being young and sexually active.
Otherwise they just grow into the attitude where it is 'forbidden' because parents are lame and don't understand. That actually makes it more attractive rather than less.

mumeeee · 18/12/2008 22:06

An average 13 year old does not have sex.

KerryMum · 18/12/2008 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scaryteacher · 19/12/2008 07:18

Try a staple gun Kerry, just as effective!

WhileShosheWatchedHerFlocks · 19/12/2008 07:29

Unfortunately, sex at 13 (and younger)is fairly common where I live, on on particular estate, I would estimate 1 in 10 teenagers have a child by the age of 18, a fair amount of them by the age of 16.

This is in a small southern Market Town.

mrsmaidamess · 19/12/2008 07:42

No the average 13 year old in my area has not had sex.

I don't think there's anything wrong ith having a 'sex talk' howver, as they will be seeing more adult things on television and in the films they watch.

herbietea · 19/12/2008 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

needmorecoffee · 19/12/2008 08:37

I reckon its about 14 judging by teenagers at the home education camps I've been on. I was rather shocked!

seeker · 19/12/2008 08:52

My dd is 13 on Sunday and she certainly hasn't - and shows, thank god, no signs of wanting to. But what do you mean by "the sex talk"? You're not telling me that your brother doesn't know the facts yet?

helena99 · 19/12/2008 09:23

If a boy has sex with a girl before she is 16 then it is statutory rape. He could end up on the Sex Offenders list.

Not many teenagers (percentage wise) have sex at the age of 13 or 14. Don't beieve those that tell you otherwise.

Please have the chat with your DB: he needs the chat before the event, not after! Schools do loads of sex ed: after several years of this my DC were not titillated but bored, bored, bored.

Original poster

SmilePlease · 19/12/2008 19:24

I assume my brother knew the basics from his school and friends.

'The Talk' was more of a 'don't get anyone pregnant or you're in big trouble!' type thing. I think it was just a check that he knew about STD's etc.

Hmm... i guess from all your comments about 5% of thirteen year olds have had sex.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 19/12/2008 19:28

I'd say that most 13y do not have sex. They may well be thinking about sex and wishing they were having sex maybe. They may even be saying they have sex. But I suspect the vast majority are nto actually having sex.

National statistics, etc on such a subject are very unreliable - due to the tendancy of teenagers to lie about whether they have sex or not and from what age!

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