do you ever tell your teenager you hate them?

[tigergirlcracker]

dd pushes my button so much i often find myself lashing out saying i hate her.

also her moods go on and on for days

she is 15

[katinat]

No. I get really mad sometimes but I have never said that word. It's not "hate" really, it's extreme frustration. Next time say " I am extremely furious with you " in the same tone--it will get your point (feelings/frustrations) accross with less psych trauma to the kid.

[katinat]

one more thing, she will NEVER forget that you said those words to herno matter how much her moods improve ( and they will )and how grown up she becomes. Apologize nowtell her how sorry you are and explain why you said what you said. Repair your relationship now--she needs you even though she drives you nuts! Good luck dear.

[lou33]

no i have never said i hate her, tho she has said it to me enough (dd1 is 16.5)

[lljkk]

How often does 'productive' come into human behaviour, most of us just operate on impulse most of the time (or in the case of teens, ALL the time .

Isn't it funny, if you were a Spartan you only expected to love and protect your child if they were strong and healthy enough. If you read the Old Testament, the onus is all on children to honour their parents no matter what -- God never asks anybody in the Bible to kill their mother or father, does He?? (whereas people are asked a few times to sacrifice a son or daughter).

Now we live in an age of parents are failures unless they are completely forgiving, 100% protective, etc..

It's all cultural, really.