First of all, I am happy to admit I occasionally check my 13 yr old dd's MSN chat logs. I know there is debate about this.
This weekend she was allowed to go out to the next town on the bus with 2 female mates. However, I also know she was trying to arrange to meet a boy in the next town over (to which she knows she is not allowed). She promised she wasn't going to do it, but I know for a fact she is easily led.
Sooooo, I check her logs to see if she is telling me the truth because all I had to go on was her word. I should trust it, right?
Anyways, I don't find any incriminating evidence of illicit forays into disallowed territory but what I do find is this...
"I fucking hate my mum, I want her to die, she is a fucking slag...." (for not letting her meet this boy she met online).
I have seen her swearing on MSN before, using words like blowjob and cock etc. She has also told lies to big herself up (eg. that she got detention when I know she didn't) It seems some of her friends do this and altho' I don't like it, it seems relatively harmless.
However, I have not seen any such horrible vitriol towards other kids own parents and actually, on the above particular convo, I saw her bf told her to "calm down".
I am fully expecting the privacy police to jump on me from a great height and I know that eavesdroppers never "hear" anything nice. I am aware of that and is the reason why I don't feel I can tackle her about it.
My own fault, or justification in feeling upset? This has really bothered me, and I guess the answer is to stop snooping but my dd gives me cause for concern and I feel I have to protect her from herself at such a young age.