do teenagers go through this.

[mitzy1]

I would like to hear from other mums who have experienced this sort of this when their son/daughter decide that they want to live with their dad after all that you have done for them.

sad

(sad)

not happened to me or anyone I know really well, but my sympathy, and a bump in hope that there IS someone out there who does understand what you are going thro.

Thank you for your sympathy. I am certainly feeling lost without him.

My step son decided he wanted to live with us a while back, in the end his mum gave in, he lasted 4 days, missed his mum and went back home.

The thing is he has left and it's been two months. He's give up everything. Football is out of the window and so is my side of the family. At the moment all he is concentrating on his is fathers side.

i think it is quite common form of rebellion in a teenager. i am sorry. did he have much of a relationship with his father before?

He only saw his father once a fortnight. His dad never rang or asked if he wanted to come out more.

All of sudden my son said he wanted to see him more which hurt me as I was angry that his father never made any effort towards him.

I think most boys do reach a stage when they need their dad more than their mum, purely because they're learning how to be a man, and that's something a mum can't teach them.

It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you any more, or that he won't want to come back one day.

All you can do is keep those lines of communication open, but don't make him feel guilty for needing his dad right now.

And absolutely never let him know that you are thinking "after all I have done for him". That is a right turn-off for most people, never mind teenage boys. Sob on our shoulders, but when you speak to him let it be about his needs.

Thank you for all your wonderful responses. To Cory I have thought "after all I have done for him" but have not said it.

He is communication a bit more now. His best friend lives two doors away from where we live so he is now starting to come over at weekends. He stay with me last weekend and I think this weekend he is staying with his friend. At least I am starting to see him more. Do you think that this is a good sign that he's missing the things he use to do.

Good on you! But do feel free to sob on our shoulders.

I think it's an excellent sign that he wants to come over at weekends. It shows he loves you and appreciates you- he just needs his Dad too. If you think about it, that's a good sign, having brought him up to care so much.

All of sudden my son said he wanted to see him more which hurt me as I was angry that his father never made any effort towards him.

This has absolutaly nothing to do with "you" you havn't done anything wrong or right it is all to do with your "son"

he has lived a happy life with you, then sddenly he thinks - as a teenager does in a toatly selfish way - where do I fit in with the other parent? Hmm better go and live there and check that bit out, may be different and missing out on stuff? Hmm off I go (dont look back didn't even cross my teenage brain I may have upset my parent who has taken care of me single handed for all these years)

They will go if the want and can regardless of whether their other parent is the crapest parent in the world of the worlds best nrparent.

Hope this helps

To everyone.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. He did come around to see me again this weekend, we had a good conversation and mum and son and I told him that next year we will be moving in with my partner. I have explained that I know he lives with his dad but that me and my partner would love him to come and live with us and that there will always be a room for him. He asked what room he would have and I told him and he then asked what sort of things I would do with the house and garden etc etc. He stayed for about three hours before he went back with his friend two doors up. He has also said that he will come over on 28 December to spend our christmas together as a family.

I'm not getting my hopes up but where I am moving is where is school is and where all is school friends live so I am hoping that this could make him feel different.