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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

I this ok for a just-turned-twelve year old?

36 replies

thegirlwiththecurl · 13/11/2008 18:33

DS has just turned 12 and last week told me he had a girlfriend. At the time, all they seemed to do was talk at school and msn in the evenings - all fairly innocent. Anyway, this week he asked if he could go to the shops after school with his mates and his girlfriend. I said yes as we live only five minutes away from the shopping centre, on the condition he came home from school first to change, took his mobile and was home by quarter past six. He was home at 6:15 on the dot, with his gf who was getting a lift home from our house. As they siad goodbye, they snogged - proper snog, lasting for a while. I am totally thrown by this and can't figure out whether its just because i naively still think of him as my little boy or whether because he is too young at twelve to be doing this and worried about where it might lead. I am quite aware of what goes on and have always thought I would be quite cool about girlfriends etc - I have talked to DS extensively about the birds and the bees and he comes to me with any problems/questions etc - ironically I work in sexual health, predominantly with young people, but have probably thought that 'my kids wouldn't be like that!!!' So is this too much at that age or is it normal?

OP posts:
Grammaticus · 17/11/2008 15:09

I'm not so shocked about the snogging. But I'm shocked about snogging in front of you! Surely that's not quite ok?

seeker · 17/11/2008 15:14

OK - I'm going against the tide. I actually DON"T think this is OK for a 12 year old - and I would be very unhappy if my 12 year old dd was on "proper snogging " terms with anyone! Not sure what I would do - fortunately she still thinks boys are smelly nuisances - but I wouldn't be happy!

BodenGroupie · 18/11/2008 21:56

I'm with Seeker on this - my dd is 12 and says it's pretty common at school but she's not going to do it till she's 30!

12 yr old girls seem way ahead (and much bigger than) 12 yr old boys - surprised the boys are interested at that age.

tazmosis · 18/11/2008 22:19

I wouldn't be happy if my DSD was doing this and she's 12. Its too young IMO.

bagsforlife · 18/11/2008 22:59

I wouldn't be happy and I don't think the OP is particularly happy either, but unfortunately it has happened whether she likes it or not!

pointydog · 18/11/2008 23:09

bloody hell. I am very surprised that a just turned 12 year old boy really wants to be snogging a girl for any length of time. Although I can only judge on teh little 12 year olds round here.

I'm not sure what to make of it. Public snogging aged 12. hmm

purpleduck · 18/11/2008 23:20
snowcrystal · 19/11/2008 13:47

Like everything with children there will be a variation in the year group.Is he in year 7 just started 2ndary school? If so its a time of change and meeting lots of different people.I seem to remembr at that age things happen without that much thought from snogging games to first romances and its all about being cool and bravado as well.I wouldn't particularly encourage it but I wouldn't make a big fuss about it either.Children are so much more observed now~ surely others must have a few early kissing memories of their own? Is he the eldest child in the family?In myo pinion its unlikely to be more than kissing.

tazmosis · 21/11/2008 19:18

Thanks bagsforlife I hadn't realised that...oh wait I had - but the OP asked a question and I thought I'd answered it!

summer111 · 27/11/2008 20:27

dd is about to turn twelve and neither herself nor her friends appear to have any interest in snogging boys at the moment - boys appear to be something they tolerate

clairebear88 · 04/12/2008 09:48

Hi

I had my first proper snog at 12 and I know alot of kids in my school were at the same stage. I did lose my virginity a week before I was 15 which I still think is way too young but cant turn the clock back now. Im now 31 and have a good job/married and am still waiting for babies to show up.

All kids are different and as you say he is mature I think this is perfectly normal. Just keep the talking going and give him loads of info and advice so he doesnt rush into things

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