how much do you tell your teens about your past

[mdrooney]

my dds are 12 & 13 and as the girls get older and we talk about things and they watch things on the tv, they have started asking questions about my past, now there are things that I really dont want the girls to know about but I dont want to lie to them, I have a fairly good relationship with the girls most of the time (apart from the normal teen stuff) but if they ask me things about my teens I was a little wild and did things I regret I find it hard as I really dont want to tell them some of the things, I was just wondering how much other mums told their teens about their past

My parents purposefully kept the 'bad stuff' from me to protect me (not that they did anything particularly shocking); and looking back, I feel as if they were acting a role while I was growing up, rather than being honest about their past. You see, we're christians but they are the more kind of old fashioned types - I ended up leading a double life: by day the perfect mature little christian girl and by night, the normal rebelious exploratory teenager. I remember having conversations about real issues and my mum saying that she knew because she'd been through it but wouldn't discuss it because I didn't need to know. As a result I felt patronised and had less respect for her. I got pregnant at 16 - DS is now 14 years old. I have a good relationship with my parents now but this is one of many issues I have with my upbringing that we clash on still to this day. My dad was more honest and I respected that and listened.

I have adopted a more honest approach with DS, if anything, I'm painfully blunt with him, even with some things that happened between me and xh (his dad) but I'm carefull not to disrespect xh as he is still his dad (although he has discovered his nature for himself!). So far, we have an amazing relationship and although I'm sure there are things he keeps to himself, he tells me things that I wouldn't have dreamt of telling my parents and I'm sure most teenagers don't talk about with adults.

Its up to you what you do, all kids are different but I just thought I'd share my experience. Having said that, DD1 is a totally different character and my require a different approach, she's 10 so I'm sure we'll soon find out!