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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What's the earliest age you would leave a teen overnight. i.e 9pm to 9am?

44 replies

Remotew · 10/09/2008 16:55

DD doesn't do sleepovers anymore hence never sleeps out full stop. I often get invited to sleepovers but always have to turn them down.

How long will I be restricted this way?

OP posts:

cremolafoam · 11/09/2008 23:54

16/17 depending on where house is.i wouldn't leave dd here alone - it is the middle of nowhere- no neighbours.Happy enough for her to stay here with afriend the same age if we were not too far way

mumeeee · 12/09/2008 22:31

I would not leave a 16 year old overnight on thier own. I also think that 16 is way to young to get married. They are still children at that age and thier are sitll a lot of things they can't do without a parents signiture!

AbbeyA · 13/09/2008 08:24

I think that 16 is too young to get married, but they can (with parental permission)so they can be running their own home.
They can join the army at that age.
Most 16 year olds are perfectly capable of staying on their own from 9pm to 9am.
DCs will not take responsibility unless they are given some.
It depends on the 16yr old in question.

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2008 08:28

It definately depends on the teenager. I would have been left at 16, but I was a teribley dull teenager,and the worst I would have got up to is eating my mums hidden chocolate.

My sister was always quite frustrated she couldn't leave my nephew in his late teens, as she knew she would come home to find he had opened a night club.

ethanchristopher · 13/09/2008 21:54

i would say 15 (year 10/4th year)

girlsnextdoor · 13/09/2008 23:05

there is no legal/illegal age- we knew a family who went away on holiday and left their 14 yr old son alone for several days - and he actually spent a lot of the time with us as he was lonely, and we had to drive him home at night etc. I made some discrete enquiries- social services etc- and they confirmed there is no lower age limit. if the child came to any harm there could be a prosecution perhaps, but there is no age limit.

ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 09:54

there is no legal age

you can eave them at 1 if you want

so its purely on the maturity of the child in wuestion

ivykaty44 · 14/09/2008 09:55

16 as this is the suggested age by the nspcc

ivykaty44 · 14/09/2008 09:59

where does this cinderella law come from that you cant leave someone under 16 after midnight? Can you show which law number etc it is?

cory · 14/09/2008 20:45

Though 14 is prolly a bit young, I think it is a good idea to gradually start letting them practise these things when they are 16. After all, by the time they are 18 they may well be living in a totally different part of the country, having to run their own finances, cooking, look out for dodgy landlords etc etc. And survive Freshers' week

popacatapetl · 15/09/2008 11:12

There is no law stating what age you can leave a child alone ... not in England anyway. But parents can be prosecuted for wilful neglect if they leave a child inappropriately unsupervised. There's no law which states that babysitters have to be 14 either.

dinasaw · 15/09/2008 11:54

We first left ds1 overnight by himself at the age of 15. He had all the phone numbers he needed and all the neighbours knew he was by himself in case of emergency. We left ready to eat food in the fridge with instructions not to use the oven while we were out.
This year we have left him and his 15 year old brother for the odd weekend, again with strict instructions and contact numbers of people.
We also ring them regularly to check they are ok.

Tortington · 15/09/2008 11:59

i so wouldn't leave my kids overnight at home with no supervision

ever

i often go out - but i wouldn't leave my home in their capable hands all night

jesuswhatnext · 15/09/2008 14:58

we have left dd overnight, first time age 14, luckily for us, all her friends are also the dcs of our friends so at the time we knew all the kids staying over night and we were with THEIR parents at teh same party in the next village so it kind of worked out ok.

now she is 16 i would much prefer her to have friends over when we are away overnight, mind you, we have always had the policy of welcoming all her friends, have often got extras for dinner and the odd 'surprise' guest for breakfast and have got to know new friends from school etc. so far they have been a nice bunch of kids who seem to respect bounderies/rules etc.

ie - i will sometimes buy a certain amount of booze, wine or cider and then ask them NOT to bring spirits - there is a total no smoking/drugs rule and i have no problem with them using my credit card to order in pizza etc.

it would appear that they all appreciate being given this trust and (touch wood!!!!) have behaved so far!

(i have seen the photos )she dosent know i can use facebook )

Janni · 15/09/2008 15:06

I wouldn't leave any teenager unless I felt absolutely certain that they would not have a party in my absence.

cq · 15/09/2008 15:16

I remember what I was like as a teenager.

nannyL · 29/09/2008 19:50

i would stay by myself at home for up to a week (well 5 days, mon - fri) when my dad went away on buisness and i was 15 years old

i was perfectly responsible and perfectly capable

one time the lock mechanism broke within the front door (typical it was cold and raining and 6AM and me and my dog (who i was walking) were both covered in mud and couldnt get...
next door neighbours had the spare key but clearly that couldnt work too

i got hold of household insurance (I knew who it was with anyway)... arranged a locksmith (through insurance) and had the lock fixed and changed that day... no problem,...

though when my dad arrived home he didnt have the key to HIS house lol!

at 16 you are old enough to be married so i think given that, you should be able to spend a night or 2 home alone before the age you can be married

nannyL · 29/09/2008 19:55

... and another time... i wanst left all night but was home by myself and parents were out... i would have only been 15...

these car theifs were trying to break into my neighbours car (lived in a tiny cul-de-sac and were watching out of the window)...

so i promptly opened my front door with my dog, who then barked at them and chased them away (the one and only time in her life she looked and sounded VERY agrressive and the hairs on the back of her neck were on end and she knew they were bad)

got the lecture of 'dont go and see criminals, but call the police lecture' when parents got home... and also the 'if our dear family pet dog had bitten them (she didint) she would probably have to be put down lecture).... but at the time i couldnt just watch out the window as these 3 boys were clearly breaking into my neighbours car...

brimfull · 29/09/2008 20:00

we left dd at 15 ,her brother who was 4.5,her 2 cousins aged 13 and 10 for one night.
They were fine.

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