counselling help for teens HELP -sorry long

[sfxmum]

hello this is for a relative and I would really appreciate any impute

the parents are going through a messy separation/ divorce
it is mutual but the father can't quite handle responsibility so blames the mother for everything that goes wrong

he is also constantly saying that his son is too soft due to his mother's 'softness'

there are countless examples of extreme bad a inconsistent parenting over the years from the father

the boy is 16 extremely bright funny and witty but shy.
he is well ahead in school but is now refusing to go to school
he does not sleep is very moody and withdrawn completely beyond shyness

his mother will coax him to school when she is home but she works shifts and is not always around at bedtime/ school time

the father does not care either way

sorry this is very long but I would like to know if there is any way of accessing counselling support for him

TIA

Relate do support for children of divorce. V.good IME.

thanks I think the problem will be getting him there but he s getting so withdrawn it is really worrying us

Hi, as a divorce lawyer I frequently have to refer children to Relateen, a branch of Relate for children over 11. They're very good in terms of helping children to talk when they feel they can't talk to their parents.

In the short term, though, I think the mum should get in touch with the school as often the school nurse/matron will have counselling qualifications.

otherwise, she could ask the GP to refer him to CAMHS for counselling.

Poor kid, it's heartbreaking what some of them are put through by their parents

If its school stuff that is the major issue try contacting the local EDW (Education Welfare Officer) they are also a resource to help / identify other solutions etc. My Dw works in a specialist school for EBD cases and a short 'respite' in a smaller unit may help. They are not just there for 'bad' cases but where more emotional support is needed.

many thanks all

the relationship has been on the brink for years
I can't believe the father is being so nasty and unhelpful to say the least
I mean I do being as he is but FFS it is his son

they are having to move out of the house where he was born because the father will not budge (HA rental) the mother found a new place, means a longer journey to school and losing neighbour / friends

the school want to help, the boy is a very bright being one of the youngest in the class and did GCSE's one year early (proud auntie)

he is clearly angry at his mother as well, as I suppose he would, she is finding it all quite difficult and is not very good at asking or help, he also feels bad for the father and at the same time does not feel accepted by him

it is quite sad

sorry for going on I am actually very concerned

again thanks all will pass it on