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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

dd16 has mislaid her mobile AGAIN - it's now at the police station 10 miles away - how would you cure her?

17 replies

mumonthenet · 13/08/2008 08:21

This is the third time in 12 months, and I always end up bailing her out...I even paid for it to be POSTED from Barcelona airport, fgs!!! Stupid me.

It's not an expensive phone (the postage prob cost more than the blardy phone!)

So this time I have to completely refuse all assistance I guess?

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 13/08/2008 08:29

Why are you even thinking of bailing her out?! Tell her if she wants it then she goes and gets it.

MaureenMLove · 13/08/2008 08:30

Absolutely! She can get the bus 10 miles to collect her phone, if she wants it back.

I'm not entirely sure this is something that only your dd does though!

Original poster
mumonthenet · 13/08/2008 08:49

No, I cannot and will not bail her out this time

Though it will be difficult for her as she is working this week...but then so am I!!!

Yes, I know lots of teens do this...and OK, I don't mind being a doormat supportive Mum but, I reckon the time has come when to bail her out again is not doing her any favours.

Difficult though, am tempted to call police station and make sure they keep it for her....

reminder to self:

STOP TRYING TO FIX IT!!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 13/08/2008 08:52

I understand why you want to sort it, any mum would, but I think she really needs to be inconvenienced for her to realise she has to look after her stuff.

Don't give in!

Flamesparrow · 13/08/2008 08:53

She has to get it herself.

It won't "cure her" - if you are a losist then you are a losist, no matter what happens!

Original poster
mumonthenet · 13/08/2008 09:03

oh gawd!

But still has to get herself ..as you say!

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 13/08/2008 09:05

Make her walk the ten miles, dragging a ball and chain (tarring and feathering optional)

Just let her sort it out, it's not your problem.

soremummy · 13/08/2008 09:12

I would make her go get it but make her walk. She needs to learn. When my ds lost her phone for the 4th time (he left it in a taxi) I wouldnt bail him out instead I gave him the crappiest phone we had and guess what he hasn't lost this one

IAmNotHere · 13/08/2008 09:15

I would tell her what you would do if you had lost your phone and it was 10 miles away at the copshop, and leave it to her to decide how she is going to retrieve it.

turquoise · 13/08/2008 09:15

Nothing wrong with asking the police to hold it for her, but if she wants it, she goes to get it - simple.

MaureenMLove · 13/08/2008 09:17

I think 10 miles there and 10 miles back is a bit much to walk!

oops · 13/08/2008 09:30

Message withdrawn

ihearthuckabees · 13/08/2008 11:03

My DH is always losing things and I used to stress about it, try to help him find/retrieve them etc. Now, I try not to get involved. He doesn't seem to mind the inconvenience, so why should I?
Don't help her, and if the hassle of getting it back really bothers her, maybe she'll be 'cured'. Sounds to me though that she is just one of those dozy people that always loses things, and she may not change, so the sooner she gets used to dealing/coping with the fall out from that, the better.

Original poster
mumonthenet · 13/08/2008 21:54

agree with most sentiments here.

She is a bit dozy, though hasn't yet lost her laptop or her wallet, be thankful for small mercies.

I think the way to go is totally neutral. Am not going to punish her for losing it...she's too old for that....but equally am not going to get it for her.

Suspect she's hoping I'll chuck her in the car and say "come on let's go get it"

She can't be missing her friends' messages desparately yet....(on msn on her laptop instead!!)

Am also wondering if (this being the third time) she's subconciously trying to lose it in the hope of getting a cooler one - this is an old reliable NOKIA with a....oh god the shame of it....black and white screen!

OP posts:
tatt · 18/08/2008 21:42

she pays to get it back. She can walk there and back, get a bus or agree to pay you petrol money. One way or another she pays to get it back - or she can write it off and pay to replace it.

katiepotatie · 18/08/2008 21:43

Make her go and collect it herself

Original poster
mumonthenet · 20/08/2008 22:19

OK, if anyone's curious...

No buses at all to the airport copshop(which is where the phone was)- only if she changed buses halfway...so I agreed to take her. She paid me petrol money. She was going to go in and get it alone. Then turned out she didn't have her ID with her. Knew she wouldn't get it without ID. Had choice of turning round and doing the whole trip twice. Chose not to do that, but to go in with her and wave MY ID if necessary.

Went in with her, made her deal with the cop, (waited while they had a long conversation at cross purposes because she forgot to say she already had a file number for the phone and the cop thought she was reporting it missing )

Sure enough they asked for ID which I produced.

Am sure you'll all say she didn't SUFFER enough...I agree. Still.

OP posts:
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