how big would you allow the age gap in a relationship between two teenagers be?

[Cynthia32]

I suppose it depends on the teenager. For example there are some 17 or 18 year olds I know that I wouldn't mind going out with my 15 year old DD. But would the fact the older one is legal and the younger one isn't worry you a lot? Do you think the fact one is legal and the other isn't means that they'd definitely have sex illegally? I just need some advice on this, and would be grateful to know what you think.

I knew about the boys, but TBH, my DD2 was not (and is still not) interested, so I too figured thata DD1 would also not be interested!!!

how wrong I was

al boys now showing interest......come from scouts!!!

argh

whispers

One of the reasons I encourage Scouts is that it's a way of them meeting boys - and boys who like doing stuff and who are interested in the world.

my DD's wanted to join so that they knew how to survive if they got lost in the forest (altho just why they thought they might get lost is still a mystery!!!).

I did not think about boys being interesting...and DD2 still does not think so.

I should have figured it when DD1 was doing her make-up with extra special care.............

I met DH when I was 15 and he was 18. I was more experienced than him, definitely more mature (imo ). We were introduced by my friend who was going out with his 21yo cousin (so 6 year age gap) In both relationships it was us girls who were the more predatory. I hope when DD is that age I can be fair minded, but I expect I'll hate anyone she goes out with

I think it depends on if the youngest is in their very early teens or not. Like a 13 year old going out with a 17 or 18 year old is worrying, but a 13 year old with a 15 year old is quite normal.

DSD is 15 and is going out with an 18 year old. I was 16 when I started going out with DH and he was 20.

bump

dd has told me that her school friend who is 13 is going out with a 21 yr old. She said, when I expressed horror, well thats like you and dad. The difference was I was 17 and a half and yes he is 8 years older than me, but we were both working full time and I was doing A levels at night school whilst he was doing an OU. The problem with going out with someone who is so much older than you is they have been there and done that ie clubbing/festivals and have to be pushed to do that sort of stuff with you. Also, there is a tendancy for them to always see you as a kid. Yes H does and has always done that to me.

interesting that no-one has mentioned the possibility of the girl being the older ina relationship.

My BF's DD2 (who is 17) is seeing a 15yr old boy - they've been "going out" (with a few minor hiccups) for nearly 3 years now.....

Girl at our school (was the head girl actually) was seeing a 30 something year old while she was in her last 2yrs at school.

Interestingly they're still together (married) with 4 children and living very happily in the South of France (he sold his business so they could move there).

Some may ask "what was a man that age looking at girls her age for".......actually she was the one that actively sought out older men ! Think he youngest boyfriend (before she met her now DH) was in his mid 20's. And her DH was very cautious from the word go.

Actually, when dd and I were talking about her school friend yesterday. We got to talking about an Aunt of mine who when she was 35 married a 16 yr old. (she was 35 at the xmas and he had been 16 in the March and they married in the August.)
Could you imagine a 16 yr old boy, becoming the father of a 9 yr old girl and a 7 yr old boy, helping to pay the mortgage and then becoming a father by the time he was 17. Well he did! Their relationship last 15 years and when she was 50 and he was 31 they split up. My Aunt had all ways told my ma that it wouldn't last, that he would out grow her, but that she loved him and would take what she could.
He always looked at least 10 yrs older than what he was, whilst she is (even now) one of these women who look really young. So you would never have guessed that there was nearly 20 yrs between them.

I met DH when I was 16 and he was 21. We were together for about three years before we 'did the deed' and we got married when I was 21 and he was 26. My parents never had a problem with the relationship because my husbnd never gave them cause to be concerned. We are still together after nearly 30 years. I guess I am saying trust your instincts about the ge gap, taking into account what you know about the partner as well as gut instinct.

well my 15 year old DD likes a 19 year old...man would you call them? And thats why I need your thoughts really, thanks everyone.

when i was at school 3 years was about normal.

Hope you're feeling more comfortable about it now C32. My DD is 15 but has no interest in boys and we are lucky in that we talk openly about sex. I think this might change when she actually gets interested herself
My OH is 7 years older than me and I know it would freak me out if my DD was seeing someone of 24 but we didn't get together til I was 18 when I (but not my parents) felt it was fine. My BF was 15 when she first had sex and that's 30 years ago now, I thought she was bit young then but, reader she married him.

I guess what I'm saying is that if the relationship is good, if your DD is mature and informed then it's probably OK. Not necessarily legal, but OK.

okay so i know you are all going to get stressy now but::

i am 15 and my boyfriend josh is 21, we have a 9 month old baby called ethan christopher but...

i am very very mature and handled the whole pregnancy thing like an adult, as did he, and we are bringing up little ethan better than most adults i know

also if i had been going out with a 14 year old, a guy my age or older than josh i would still have had sex with him, me and josh have been together 3 years and are completely besotted with each other. i waited till i was ready and he respected that

i think it depends on the maturity and respect that they have for each other as it does with adults

age isnt the issue - respect is