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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Experiences of supporting a teenager with GAD and school avoidance

6 replies

Wigglinaround · 13/07/2026 07:28

I’m hoping to hear from parents whose children have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), as we’re feeling quite lost at the moment.

My 12-year-old daughter has recently been diagnosed with GAD following a private assessment. While it’s helpful to finally have an explanation for what she’s experiencing, she’s also feeling incredibly confused. She went into the assessment hoping to understand why she has always found certain things difficult, and now she’s trying to make sense of what this diagnosis means for her and what happens next.

Her anxiety has become so severe that she’s currently unable to attend school. She desperately wants to be there, but when it comes to actually walking through the school gates, her anxiety completely takes over. Watching this has been heartbreaking.
This has all developed over the last six months or so following the transition to secondary school. Before that she was attending school happily, so it’s been incredibly difficult to see such a dramatic change in such a short space of time.
We’re now trying to decide what to do about school, and I genuinely don’t know what the right decision is.

One school we’re considering has a dedicated quiet workspace where pupils can go if they’re feeling overwhelmed. We felt this could be invaluable, as towards the end of term it became clear that she needed somewhere calm to regulate herself and continue learning when the school environment became too much.

However, the only child she knows there is someone she attended primary school with, and they frequently clashed. The friendship has always been very intense with lots of emotional ups and downs. Given how vulnerable she is at the moment, I’m concerned it could create a new source of stress when what she really needs is a calm, predictable environment where she feels safe and secure while she recovers.

The other school offers the opportunity for a completely fresh start and has many positives, but it doesn’t have a dedicated quiet workspace or low-stimulation area where she could work if she became overwhelmed. My worry is that, without somewhere safe to retreat to, we’ll end up back in the same cycle of school avoidance.
I’d really love to hear from anyone whose child has been through something similar. If your child was diagnosed with GAD and struggled to attend school, how did things progress? Did therapy help? If they needed medication, did that make a significant difference? Were they eventually able to return to school, attend happily and enjoy life again?

At the moment it feels overwhelming, and I’d be so grateful to hear from families who have come through the other side and can offer some hope or advice.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 13/07/2026 08:09

Our DC2 doesn’t have GAD, as far as I’m aware, but did have a lot of school refusal and anxiety and eventually had a diagnosis of AuDHD. Has she ever been assessed for those @Wigglinaround?

Has she had an EHC Needs Assessment? You can request that yourself and it sounds as though it would be useful whichever School you decide upon Flowers

EHC needs assessments

An EHC needs assessment is an assessment of a child or young person’s education, health and care needs

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

Werhere · 13/07/2026 09:20

What does she do all day when she’s not at school?

Redforge · 13/07/2026 10:00

What Is the size and ethos of her current school? What does she like and what makes her feel worse?

ShakaWhenTheWallsFell · 13/07/2026 10:07

I think anxiety is a very personal thing. What causes it for one person will differ for another. The same is true for treatments. What was suggested by the professional who diagnosed your DD in terms of next steps? Have they signposted you to a therapist? What sort of health professional were they? Do you have a budget for ongoing weekly therapy? How willing is your DD to try therapy?

I think focusing on the choice of school isn't the main priority. Neither choice is going to remove her anxiety, because her anxiety is internally driven. Improving the external will only improve her experience by small degrees.

Orangegreenyellowblue · 13/07/2026 13:43

Sorry not sure if this can help my ch: therapy, home schooling, my daughter takes well teen her and omvits omega 3. It gives her energy and helps with anxiety. I appreciate your daughter situation may be entirely different but perhaps just getting some blood tests and ensuring nothing is missing; may help a little; exercise, meditation, etc.

DH son from a previous marriage went through school refusal; his mum homeschool him in primary, then stainer school later. Now in his twenties he is thriving, has a girlfriend, getting married, lives with her; travels alone, did a career and works as a teacher. He was a late developer and probably the separation from his parents didn’t help

Ivyy · 13/07/2026 13:57

Sunshine Support have a lot of good resources / advice if you look them up online, mainly centred around children with EBSA and neurodivergent children but could still be helpful.

Has she had any talking therapy? It’s a massive change and adjustment if you go from primary to a big secondary school, even harder going without any existing friends.

Is it just school where she has so long anxiety or in other parts of life as well?

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