DS relationship

[Babyreindeer24]

Afternoon all!

Just after some advice/perspective on this situation with our DS (14)please.

He got his first serious GF a few months ago. All very innocent and cute going on dates and walks etc.
Initially a lovely girl however we ended up putting a stop to it socially as it was becoming very intense - constant calls, messaging, ditching mates, demanding to know where he was etc.
They were still seeing each other in school however there was an incident where they had argued and teachers got involved so we advised DS to take a step back.

This hasn't gone down too well and he's started lying about where he is (saying he's at the park with friends but he's actually with the GF) and basically being incredibly grumpy, saying she is the only thing that makes him happy 🫠

What's the best way to handle this as it's like walking on eggshells around him now..DH is very much let him crack on with it and it'll blow over eventually.

Completely new territory for me as its like DS has changed overnight 🫠

What a nightmare. Unfortunately it sounds like the more you make her the forbidden fruit the more desperate he is going to be to see her. I think you need to be clear that you have serious concerns about the relationship, that some of her behaviour is very controlling and that it is much too intense to be a healthy relationship. That trust, respect and compromise are important in any relationship.

I think then you should put in some limits around how much he can see her outside school that also ensures there are times to see friends or do clubs or homework or whatever - I would also encourage him to take up some hobbies/clubs if he doesn't have anything like that. He needs things in his life that are separate to her. Get him to come up the plan with you and tell him that you are trusting him to stick to the plan and that trust is important in any relationship (ie she needs to trust him too). He needs to not be sneaking off to see the GF when is supposed to be doing something else.

If he breaks the rules then the amount of time he gets to see her will be cut for an agreed period of time. Decide the rules with him.

No phones over night certainly and perhaps some limits on usage especially at weekends or when he is doing other activities so he is not constantly being distracted by her. Goodluck!

Thank you! Appreciate you responding with some brilliant advice.
Luckily he does have some activities outside of school to keep him busy, and I'm hoping the 6 weeks will cause it to fizzle out - it's not healthy for either of them unfortunately

Thank you again!