Husband and son clash

[BeCosyMauveCrab]

My 13 year old son can have a pretty rubbish attitude at times. It riles my husband no end, he ends up loosing his temper with DS and then DS will cry. It’s all a bit rubbish. Husband just gives him a verbal lashing about how ungrateful he is. Any advice? It’s making family time pretty tense.

Is he his dad?

Yes, he is his dad

At least he is the actual father - so there is some hope. Seriously, he needs to be the adult in this room.

If your DH is shouting badly enough to make a 13 year old cry he should be ashamed of himself, that is really disgusting behaviour and won’t work anyway.
What does your DS do that’s so bad, I imagine normal teenage stuff? Your DH needs to remember he’s the adult in this situation and start behaving like one

Your DH sounds pretty awful. What is he saying to DS to make him cry?

DS cries at the drop of a hat. This isn't full on shouting, it’s a raised stern voice about the need to have some respect even when you’re feeling rubbish inside. DH is strict, but he also tells his sons every day that he loves them and is proud of them. He is a very hands on and involved dad.

Your OP says DH “loses his temper “ and gives DS “a verbal lashing”. Now you seem to be trying to back pedal from that…

So there's no issue then?
No child owes their parent gratitude, and respect is earned. No one respects anyone who verbally lashes them and loses their temper, quite the opposite.

Your husband can correct his behaviour and be a better person if he chooses to.