My teenage child is feeling overwhelmed by their co-parent at the moment and isn't sure how to speak to them about it and frankly nor am I.
Basically, co-parent is using our child as an example to challenge the LA on an issue and while at first our child was supportive and felt it was about protecting them, now it feels like co-parent is speaking for the child and putting words in their mouth. The reason they are using our child like this is because our child is directly affected by the issue whereas co-parent is not, they just have strong feelings on the matter.
This is causing them issues with their peer group, staff to some extent but mostly, they feel really let down that co-parent doesn't seem to actually care about their opinion unless they agree with co-parent. They are speaking to a therapist about it all. Co-parent is unaware of this.
At first it was taking steps to challenge with the input and support of our child, but now it is just informing what they have done or said on the child's behalf or worst, we find out from another source totally, like reading co-parent post about our child and the issue on social media.
It has got to the point where our child is nervous to admit to their other parent that they aren't comfortable with being used as the example or that they don't agree or didn't say something co-parent has claimed they did. I think our child is worried that co-parent will be disappointed or even angry at them and shut them out.
The truth is, I feel the same. I don't know how to gently say stop and think when it has gone so far. If co-parent even thinks you disagree on something, they will start bombarding you with information that supports their point of view or even get quite nasty about it with cutting and patronising personal comments.
These are vital school years and they just want to get through them peacefully, co-parent is currently the main threat to that.
How do I help my child?