Teen feeling excluded during school activities week and asking for support

[Heartbrokenmumagain]

DC 14 friendly with people at school, but no real friends (outside of school it’s a different story). At the end of the month there’s an activities week in school, team bonding type stuff. They’ve all been asked to say which 3 children they want to be with - apparently the others were all forming groups in front of DC, but not including DC. DC distraught and feeling excluded. Help. How do I deal with this?

get them to ask the teacher to facilitate with a group ?
They will be put with others presumably regardless ?

Of course they’ll be in some sort of group but how do I support their feelings of rejection and exclusion?

This is probably not very MN but I’d be tempted to keep them at home that week.

In relation to the issue itself, I always say to my kids this is great practice for the real world. Chin up and make the best of it. No I wouldn’t keep them off or go to the school because that’s not the way I would deal with something like this as an adult and at the end of the day that’s what we are supposed to be preparing them for.

Behind closed doors I’d be having a chat with them to agree steps together to improve things at school.

One of the other things I do is totally sympathise. Yes it is shit. Yes it does hurt. But these things are usually temporary and pass. I try not to make a huge deal out of this stuff. Come next month there will be a different issue to deal with.

Poor form of the school to allow selection like that. Always going to end up with people left out.
You have a realistic chat with your DC - if they're not in someone else's top 3, this picking malarkey was always going to fail for them. Doesn't mean everyone hates them - just means they aren't besties.
If this bothers them - is there scope to cultivate closer school friends? Not always easy at this age or accept school as a place of learning first and socialising second.