Teen son worried his growth has stopped after early-ish puberty

[LizzieLookAtTheFlowers]

DS is 14.5 and has not grown in over 6 months and very bothered.

He is 161cm, weighs 67kg, exceptionally muscular and WELL into puberty - tanner stage 4.2. He is super, duper, mega hairy and has huge hands and feet if that gives any clues!

He grew 15cm between Nov 23 and Nov 25 and feet went up to size 11 rapidly in that time, but nothing has grown since.

I'm 173cm. Dad 170cm. So his height potential is 178cm, and he is due to make 163 to 165 at a push and he's desperate for me to "do something".

He's been trying to lose weight, going to gym, running and eating less - he lost 10lbs in 7 months so not drastic. So I'm upping his protein and making him up his calories a fair bit, going to give calcium magnesium and zinc supplements, to see if that kickstarts some growth. We were told losing weight would help him grow - it just made it totally stop!

All his blood tests earlier this year were normal. GP not very helpful. Anyone had a son in the same boat?

Clearly, we are telling him height does not matter. But it does to him - he is already picked on for being 5ft 3 with size 11 feet and super hairy legs and a beard - so they call him a hobbit and everyone else is only going to get taller!

My friend's DS was very short in his mid teens. He was obsessed with exercise and eventually twigged that he needed to slow down a bit and let his body do it's thing, he was exercising so hard there was no energy left for growth. He's still not super tall but within normal range now age 20.

Well losing weight and eating less is more likely to stunt growth than promote it… not sure who told you losing weight would help. Male growth plates don’t tend to close until 16-18 (some even until 21) so he has a few years left… he may just be at a resting stage in between spurts with more growth expected. Height growth isn’t constant and steady it goes in… well spurts.

If he started puberty at age 11-12 that’s perfectly average and so would precipitate growth until around age 16.

Go back to the GP if worried. Or pay for a private bone scan to see if his bones are fused or open. If fused he’s done if open he’s likely got more to grow.

Vital nutrients for bone growth: VITAMIN D (most Brits are low on this), calcium, phosphorus, protein (collagen makes up some of the skeleton).

GP we saw last year said that not gaining any more weight/losing a little would help his insulin resistance and help with overall linear growth and development. She did a referral to child development centre but it never materialised so he had no support. I was talking about cutting out some junk and going to the gym with his matea. My son took this a bit far and started skipping meals - the ones I don't have control over. He lost weight very gradually so I didn't notice at first.

What worries me, is now I'm talking about him eating more as the answer to stalled growth, he is very reluctant to do so. I suggested drinking milk and taking vit d and magnesium at bedtime (he is a bit anaemic and takes iron in the mornings so need to avoid around then) and he was very concerned about the calories.

We've compromised on fitting in some extra protein and dairy but not getting hung up on measuring or tracking anything.

His is dad was exactly the same - overweight as a young teen, bullied relentlessly, stopped eating, didn't reach growth potential and pretty much has an eating disorder all his adult life and is very slight.

People still think boys are immune to this stuff. They aren't. And now he's had a taste of losing weight and all the positivity and praise around it - he's hooked. 😔

After teaching teens for 30 years I can tell you they grow in spurts, and at different times and he is very young. I've had plenty of boys that were short, and then suddenly by Year 11 they have shot up. I've also had a lot of sixth form boys that went into Y13 about 5ft 7 and were over 6ft by the time they left for uni. Boys grow until 21. There is nothing he or you can do to hurry this process up or to encourage it in any way. He is likely to end up a reasonable size based on your and your DHs heights.

Your GP sounds poor, btw. Suggesting any teen can promote 'linear growth' by losing a bit of weight is dumb.

Why is he trying to lose weight? Is he over weight? The aim for over weight children is usually not to lose weight but to maintain weight while still growing.

One of my son's friends was an early developer and is dealing with similar atm - early growth spurt, earlier fusing of the growth plates - same hormones trigger both. That said, 15 cm in 2 years doesn't sound like a strong growth spurt.
I'm not a medic, but maybe it's significant that the weight loss happened over a period when a growing adolescent would be expected to gain weight?

Being an early developer can be hard on boys - they get all big and grown up ahead of their peers at an age when their ideas of 'who they are' are rapidly developing, and for some boys, this can include being 'the grown-up one'. It can be really hard for them to see their later-developing friends ending up taller, having got in more linear growth before their growth spurts. And I guess it's even harder if the people around him are being kinda shitty and calling him names, even though hobbits are cool.

Sorry to hear this, teens and weight and eating are all fraught subjects. I’d ensure he understands that without sufficient calories, protein and nutrients his body isn’t able to grow - the same stuff that powers growing outwards powers growing upwards (not necessarily true on a molecular level but energy level). If he is in a deficit of calories his body will prioritise certain functions that are necessary for life rather than expansion/growth. Same reason why underweight girls can lose their period, with insufficient calories the body shuts some processes off.

Her explanation to us at the time was he was experiencing rapid puberty and insulin resistance and this was caused by excess adiposity in the lead up to puberty. She said that puberty stage is what determines when growth happens/stops, that he had already had his big growth spurt age 12 and now was heading into the final stages of puberty at which point growth stops (irrespective of age). So by reducing insulin resistance he may be able to slow this down a bit.

I think from what I understand what she has said makes sense, but what doesn't make sense is not having enough calories for growth will also impact growth!

All I know for sure is she is right about puberty stage. Just because other boys grow til 21 does not mean that boys who are mid tanner stage 4 at 14 will. Nobody is growing after tanner 5 and he's almost there.

It’s also interesting that his father had disordered eating. One of the highest correlations for teen girls getting EDs is whether their mother had one or not. The same study hasn’t been done for boys and fathers I dont think.

It’s true that excess adiposity and insulin resistance can essentially bring on puberty earlier but it’s also nutrition that fuels the amount of growth that happens during the growth stage. Reducing calories during this time too sharply switches the body from growth to maintenance. Caloric adequacy matters because bone elongation and muscle development require energy and protein. Low intake = low growth. You should have had more guidance on this.

She shouldn’t have suggested strict weight loss - the goal should be steady, nutrient-rich eating that supports both healthy metabolism and remaining growth potential.

During my DS’s main growth spurt,15-17, he was eating around 5000-6000 calories a day. He’s very sporty and has natural athletic build without the need for weights, and was rugby training 4 days a week for at least an hour a day. When not training he would be horizontal either on his game console or sleeping. He is tall and was always one of the tallest in his year. During yr7-yr9 a lot of friends caught up but he would consistently grow around 10cm a year from age 6 to age 15. His big jump was over Covid. We still have his height and age marks on a wall.

Boys tend to grow towards the end of puberty and often carry on growing into their early 20s. I could always tell when DS was in a growth phase because he would gain weight then lose his appetite when actively growing. I learned to wait until the last week of the summer holidays to buy new trousers because if I bought them at the end of the summer term they would be too short by September. Often perfectly fitting trousers would be 2-3 inches too short when I checked them. Shoes were the same.

DS is now 21 and I noticed he is the same height as one of his friends last week when I collected them from uni. Last year his friend was noticeably taller by 1-2cms. So he is still growing. His suit trousers from six form need letting down so he has definitely grown since 18/19.