Would you let a 16-year-old travel to Gibraltar with a friend?

[Burgundyleaf]

My 16 year old DS wants to go to Gibraltar with his friend this summer, just the two of them. Are we crazy to let him go?

Where in Ireland is he coming to?

No

It's a no from me

Yes I would.
Dd1 went to Portugal unaccompanied a good few years ago to meet up with and stay with her penfriend.
Ds (16) is going to a couple of places in Europe after his exams with mixed groups of friends, mostly older so not strictly unaccompanied I suppose.
My auntie always said the greatest gift that you can give your child is wings and the courage to fly.

So what is your demographic and the specific demographic from which you wish an answer?

30 years ago I went to Majorca with a friend straight after our GCSEs. It was an all inclusive resort, lots of sunbathing and drinking. We felt safe as we were not touring but were partying the nights away, so not entirely safe I suppose.

However, my DS asked to go away with friends last year, 16 yo after GCSEs, it was a hard no!

I have no idea what my own mother was thinking allowing me!

Mothers?🤔

In fact id be surprised if they got through passport control.

Mine got through passport control fine. We wrote a permission letter using the BA template but no-one checked it.

Yes I would. Dd went to China for 3 weeks with friends at 16yo. Gibraltar seems nearer and safer. She went to Paris when she’d just turned 18yo, her friend was 17yo. They did get stopped coming back and questioned separately. I hadn’t realised her friend was under 18yo and nobody had written a letter.

Of course I would allow it and I'm speaking as a mother of multiple adult children. Gibraltar is not known as party central.

This was normal when I was 16. My DC are still very young so not sure if I would let them go or not.

As long as you trust them/ they know what they are doing, have access to money and keep their phones with them I would probably let him go.

When I was 16 I went to Jersey for a week's holiday with a girlfriend. We flew from Speke Airport Liverpool (now John Lennon Airport). We didn't have mobile 'phones in those days.
Our parents weren't worried, mainly because we both spoke French.

No!

I think it is brilliant that two 16yo have the confidence to go abroad on their own. They must be very mature. I’m also impressed that they are doing such careful planning. Tbey sound like the kind of kids that should be trusted.

I know too many people who think their 18yo are being brave going into central London with their friends. (We live on the outskirts of London)

I don’t think passport control will be an issue, although I’d definitely write a letter.

I think the most difficult thing is finding a place to stay because hotels invariably only take over 18s. I had a lot of trouble with this when DC1 went to a university open day in Scotland and the only way to do it was with an overnight stay. The youth hostel was the only option.

I would definitely have allowed DC1 to do this but I probably would have been nervous but that is part of being a mum.

No I didn’t but then they didn’t ask either. They didn’t have money at 16 so it wasn’t an option. Dd2 went away with her boyfriend at 17 to his family’s cottage, they covered the costs apart from the train fare. I wasn’t a strict parent but the flip side was that if they wanted to do things they needed to earn money to afford it, that very process meant that they saw the efforts you need go to earn money

Yeah, not here! After A levels, but not GCSE's at 16. No way.

@hahabahbag I wasn’t a strict parent but the flip side was that if they wanted to do things they needed to earn money to afford it, that very process meant that they saw the efforts you need go to earn money

Exactly.
My friend and I both had holiday jobs and saved up our money to go.

Depends on the child.

My eldest at 16? Absolutely yes. She'd be fine.

Middle child at 16? Maybe. Depends who he was going with.

Youngest at 16? Absolutely not. Although if I'd said no she'd have probably gone anyway.

For me it depends on the 16 year old how mature they are, how much independence they’ve been given up to this point and how they handle issues generally. It was common for people my age to celebrate GCSE’s with a trip so. It unheard of. If your DC is mature enough and the friend is also sensible I don’t see a problem.

You are not crazy to let them go. Your son is already making plans and thinking ahead - checking 16 year olds can stay unaccompanied. I don't really see the problem here, unless the friend is a known bad influence? It's not as though he's planning to visit a war zone. If he's British, visiting a British Overseas Territory is fairly straightforward should anything unfortunate happen. Point him towards the gov.uk travel advice pages: Foreign travel advice - GOV.UK, so he's aware of the basic info, and also so he knows where to find these pages for any more adventurous travel in future.

If you think of the 16 year olds at your son's school: if it's anything like my kids' school, there are the ones already having adult responsibility and caring for parents and/or younger siblings who are more competent and aware than a good 50% of adults, and there are the ones you wouldn't trust to correctly run a simple errand to a local shop. You'll get responses from the full range of those kids' parents here and all the ones in-between, and some of aren't wrong in that some of those kids really shouldn't be let out of sight of a responsible adult, let alone go on holiday abroad. You know your son, you can work out the likely risks he'll face during travel and in Gibraltar, you can compare them to the risks he'd be facing doing whatever he'd otherwise be doing if not going on holiday with his friend. (Come to think of it, this might also explain some of the responses here - if a kid spends pretty much all their time indoors on screens, then a foreign holiday where they might be out and about is a lot riskier than staying home. But if a kid was going to be out and about anyway, with the small but real risks of road accidents and assaults, etc. then dealing with the novel bits of the intended trip - travelling to and staying in an overseas territory - is a different risk calculation than for kids that rarely leave the home.)

Nope. The parents lack of care/respinsibility. You don't allow your 16 yo to travel around Europe for 6 weeks with her boyfriend or a 15 yo to go to Barcelona with friends.

not if you're a responsible parent.

maybe a few nights camping in Gibraltar?

No but it’s wild to think I went to a music festival 17. DH drive three hours to a rave with his friends that his mum had told him not to go to. I think 18 if they are mature and have a bit about them and a good group of friends .

The wrong demographic?

parents with teens/older kids?? Who else would you ask?

They will be so bored there that they might do something stupid to liven things up, like risky swimming or trying to get drunk. I’d say better for them to go somewhere with more stuff for 16 year olds to do.

There aren't any cabins on Gib either.

Their best bet is the Ohtel Campo de Gibraltar about 5 min walk from the border into Gib.